All posts tagged: 700-page

People Are Posting Hilarious Photos Of Their Great Danes, And Its Crazy How Large They Are

To call a 175-pound dog a ‘lapdog’ may seem counterintuitive, that is until you meet a Great Dane. Standing at least 30 inches from paw to shoulder, these cuddly canines are often referred to as “the world’s largest lapdogs,” as they often don’t realize their own enormity. Yes, this breed is so large a since-deceased Great Dane by the name of Zeus holds the world record for the tallest dog, standing at 44 inches from paw to shoulder.

According to the American Kennel Club, Great Danes currently rank as the 24th most popular dog breed and once you see one it’s easy to see why people love them. Bored Panda has rounded up a collection of adorable and hilarious pictures of these huggable, huge dogs that are sure to bring a smile to your face. Scroll down and don’t forget to upvote your favs!

#1 Louis Made A New Friend

#2 Blind Great Dane Lily Has Her Own Seeing-Eye Dog Maddison Who Takes Her For Walks

#3 Lunging With The Great Dane. Is It Exercise Or Playtime?

#4 I Have The Real Scooby Doo

#5 Settling In For Nap Time

#6 I Trained My Great Dane To Take Selfies With Me – If I’m Sitting And Extend My Arm With My Phone In Hand, She Plops Up Next To Me, Leans, And Gives The Camera This Look

#7 Just Having A Small Talk About This And That

#8 My Graceful Great Dane Hendrix

#9 Have You Seen My Ball?

#10 This Is Why I Love Great Danes

#11 Pippin, A Helpless Baby Fawn Was Abandoned By Her Mother. Great Dane Kate Adopted Pippin Immediately And They Have Been Best Friends Ever Since

#12 This Dog Is Turning Into A Pancake

#13 14-Week-Old Great Dane Pup

#14 My Great Dane Puppy Makes This Face Every Time I Take Carrots Out Of The Fridge

#15 The Noble Great Dane

#16 She Firmly Believes She’s A Lap Dog

#17 Cutest Great Dane Mom And Puppy Picture Ever

#18 Son Talked Us Into Going To The Animal Shelter Saying He Wanted A Small Dog. Worth It For That Smile

#19 My Dane Loves Listening To My Nan’s Stories

#20 Great Dane Jumping On The Trampoline

#21 Bigboye Decided This Couch Belongs To Him

#22 My Sister Caught Her New Great Dane Puppy Sleeping Like This

#23 My 6-Months-Old Great Dane (Now 90 Lbs) Is Still BFFs With My Cat

#24 The Paw Of My 4-Month-Old Great Dane

#25 Comfortable Seat

#26 The Reaction I Get When I Tell Him To Get Off The Chair

#27 My Great Dane And His Favorite Watering Hole. I Have To Lock Him Out Of The Bathroom Whenever I Plan On Using The Sink, Or He Will Push Me Out Of The Way

#28 My Friend Has A Massive Great Dane And An 8-Year-Old Daughter

#29 My Friend’s Great Dane Thinks She Is A Human

#30 She Thinks She’s A Human

#31 8-Week-Old Great Dane. Those Paws

#32 My Dog’s Ear Looks Like His Own Face

#33 Thought I’d Share Some Tongue Photos. Because Why Not?

#34 My Grandpa Made Quick Friends With Our Great Dane

#35 My Friends Make Great Dane Being A Good Substitute Dad To These Abandoned Kittens. Well Done, Pongo

#36 The Perks Of Owning A Great Dane

#37 This Is What Happens When My Great Dane Gets Ignored

#38 Great Dane On A Train

#39 Our Two Great Danes Used To Sleep Like This

#40 A Dane With Doggles

#41 Melting Dane

#42 Never Too Big For A Car Ride

#43 Blue Great Dane Puppy Sitting On Labrador’s Head

#44 My Dane Fell Asleep While Changing Spots

#45 Extremely Rare Great Dane With A Human Body

#46 Our Dog Is Too Big To Lay In “Her” Chair So She Sits Like This

#47 My Great Dane Thinks He’s A Parrot

#48 That One Time My Dane Tried To Convince Me She Was On Cloud Island And Didn’t Destroy Her Bed

#49 My Great Dane Loves Piggy Back Rides

#50 Rest After Playing And Running Hard

#51 2-Year-Old Marv And 7-Year-Old Casen

#52 Dane With His Head Out Of The Sunroof

#53 Melty Snoot

#54 My 7-Year-Old Great Dane Reluctantly Sharing Her Favorite Spot With The New Puppy

#55 This Is Howard. He’s 1-Year-Old And 180 Lbs

#56 Yeah, That Happened

#57 When My Great Dane Was Younger, I Taught Him To Piggy Back Ride

Read more: http://www.boredpanda.com/

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18 Stories That Show What Humans Consider Normal Is Actually Very Strange

There is a collective of Tumblr users who are very concerned about what would aliens would think of humans if they had the chance to interact with us. It may be a strange thing to speculate about, but it is definitely an excellent writing prompt. A handful of these curious minds have decided to write stories about alien reactions to the things that make us human. Spoiler alert: according to extraterrestrial beings, humans are pretty weird. So naturally, if there’s no other planet in the galaxy with similar climate and biodiversity, aliens are in for a huge surprise! Scroll below to read stories about probably the weirdest species on the galaxy. (Facebook cover image: Rev Stan)

#1

crazy-pages said:

Alien: “I’m sorry, what did you just say your comfortable temperature range is?”

Human: “Honestly we can tolerate anywhere from -40 to 50 Celcius, but we prefer the 0 to 30 range.”

Alien: “……. I’m sorry, did you just list temperatures below freezing?”

Human: “Yeah, but most of us prefer to throw on scarves or jackets at those temperatures it can be a bit nippy.”

Other human: “Nah mate, I knew this guy in college who refused to wear anything past his knees and elbows until it was -20 at least.”

Human: “Heh. Yeah everybody knows someone like that.”

Alien: “……. And did you also say 50 Celcius? As in, half way to boiling?”

Human: “Eugh. Yes. It sucks, we sweat everywhere, and god help you if you touch a seatbelt buckle, but yes.”

Alien: “……. We’ve got like 50 uninhabitable planets we think you might enjoy.”

val-tashoth said:

Alien: “You’re telling me that you have… settlements. On islands with active volcanism?”

Human: “Well, yeah. I’m not about to tell Iceland and Hawaii how to live their lives. Actually, it’s kind of a tourist attraction.”

Alien: “What, the molten rock?”

Human: “Well, yeah! It’s not every day you see a mountain spew out liquid rocks! The best one is Yellowstone, though. All these hot springs and geysers from the supervolcano–”

Alien: “You ACTIVELY SEEK OUT ACTIVE SUPERVOLCANOES?”

Human: “S**t, man, we swim in the groundwater near them.”

the-grand-author said:

Alien: “And you say the poles of your world would get as low as negative one hundred with wind chill?”

Human: “Yup, with blizzards you cant see through every other day just about.”

Alien: “Amazing! when did you manage to send drones that could survive such temperatures?”

Human: “… well, actually…”

Alien: “… what?”

Human: “…we kinda……. sent……….. people…..”

Alien: “…”

Human: “…”

Alien: “…what?”

Human: “we sent-”

Alien: “no yeah I heard you I just- what? You sent… HUMANS… to a place one hundred degrees below freezing?”

Human: “y-yeah”

Alien: “and they didn’t… die?”

Human: “Well the first few did”

Alien: “PEOPLE DIED OF THE COLD AND YOUR SOLUTION WAS TO SEND MORE PEOPLE???!?!?!?”

arcticfoxbear said:

My new favorite Humans are Weird quote

Alien: “PEOPLE DIED OF THE COLD AND YOUR SOLUTION WAS TO SEND MORE PEOPLE?”

aka The History of Russia

aka Arctic Exploration

aka The History of Alaska

#2

radioactivepeasant said:

It occurs to me that as much as “humans are the scary ones” fit sometimes, if you look at it another way, humans might seem like the absurdly friendly or curious ones.

I mean, who looked at an elephant, gigantic creature thoroughly capable of killing someone if it has to, and thought “I’m gonna ride on that thing!”?

And put a human near any canine predator and there’s a strong chance of said human yelling “PUPPY!” and initiating playful interaction with it.

And what about the people who look at whales, bigger than basically everything else, and decide “I’m gonna swim with our splashy danger friends!”

Heck, for all we know, humans might run into the scariest, toughest aliens out there and say “Heck with it. I’m gonna hug ‘em.”

“Why?!”

“I dunno. I gotta hug ‘em.”

And it’s like the first friendly interaction the species has had in forever so suddenly humanity has a bunch of big scary friends.

adrenaline-revolver said:

“Commander, we must update the code of conduct to include the humans.”

“Why? Are they more aggressive than we anticipated?”

“It seems to be the opposite Commander. Just this morning a crewman nearly lost their hand when attempting to stroke an unidentified feline on an unknown world. Their reaction to the attack was to call the creature a “mean kitty” and vow to win it over. Upon inquiry, it seems they bond so readily with creatures outside their species that they have the capacity to feel sympathy for an alien creature they have never seen before simply because it appears distressed. I hate to say this commander but we must install a rule to prevent them from endangering their own lives when interacting with the galaxy’s fauna.”

“I see what you mean. So be it, from now on no crewman is allowed to touch unknown animals without permission from a superior officer. And send a message to supplies about acquiring one of these “puppies” so that their desire to touch furred predators can be safely sated.

talkingbirdguy said:

Let’s be honest, the humans would ignore the hell outta that rule whenever alone.

beka-tiddalik said:

“So I hear that you’ve just recruited a human for your ship.”

“Yes, it’s the first time that I’ve worked with these species, but they come highly recommended. Say, you’ve worked with a few, what tips can you give me? I’d hate to have some kind of cultural misunderstanding if it’s avoidable.”

“The first rule of working with humans is to never leave them unsupervised.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m serious. Don’t do it. Things. Happen.”

“But wait, I thought that I heard you highly recommended that every crew should have at least one on board?”

“Absolutely, and I stand by that. Humans are excellent innovators and are psychologically very resilient. If you have a crisis, then a human that has bonded with your crew properly can be invaluable. Treat your human well and you should get the best out of them as a crew member. Their ability to get on with almost any species is legendary.”

“But Toks, didn’t you just say…”

“The trouble is that they will potentially try to bond with anything. If you leave them unsupervised, you have no idea what kind of trouble they can get themselves into. It was sheer luck that the Fanzorians thought that it was funny that the human picked up the Crown Prince to coo at him.”

“Crown Prince Horram, Scourge of Pixia?”

“The very same. Surprisingly good sense of humor. But don’t even get me started on that one time with the Dunlip. Al-Human wanted to know if they could keep it. As a pet.”

“A Dunlip? You mean the 3-metre tall apex predators from Jowun?”

“Yup. Don’t leave your humans unsupervised.”

“I’ll uh, take that under advisement.”

uristmcdorf said:

“Seriously. Get a supply of safe animals for the humans to bond with or they will make their own. I mean, they will try to befriend anything they come across anyway, but without any permanent pets they can get… creative. Don’t even get me started on the time one of them taped a knife to one of our auto-cleaners and named it Stabby.

Three weeks in and when we finally caught the wretched thing, half the humans on crew tried to revolt about us “killing” Stabby by removing the knife.

“How… how did you resolve that sir?”

“Glaxcol made a toy knife out of insulation rubber and strapped that on instead. Quite a creative solution, I suppose.”

“And that sated the humans?

“Worse.”

“Worse?”

“They thought it was so funny they made a second one, strapped false eyes on springs to both and held mock battles. Then decided Stabby and Knifey were in love and now none of them will allow the others to stage fights between them any more.”

foxmartini said:

“So, if I supply my Humans with safe bonding pets they will behave better when on other planets? Where do I get safe bonding pets?”

“Realizing the havoc their species created with their bonding needs, Earth has been kind enough to create an intergalactic ‘pet’ shop as they call it, the order forms are on the bridge.”

“If they get a pet this should prevent any knife welding auto-cleaners?”

“Yes…”

“You don’t sound very reassuring.”

“Well… You have to understand that some of what humans find attractive about their ‘pets’ is actually what makes them dangerous. Not all of what they consider ‘safe’ is what we would consider ‘safe’.”

“OK… I am getting a little nervous about this.”

“No, no, it’s fine, I’m just saying you should maybe keep an eye on what they order. Ask them to describe the creature before they get it. For example, the first time I had a human on board I let them order a pet without checking what it was.”

“What happened?”

Well, when it arrived it was a 25 pound fanged and clawed feline creature called a Savannah Cat. My entire crew was terrified of it, it was agile and could easily have seriously injured someone, but the human had no fear of it. They insisted on carrying it around like a child, and they would squeeze it’s ‘beans’ as they said, forcing the creatures claws out, and then they would show people it’s deadly claws while saying, and I quote, ‘look at its adorable claws, this is what it uses to kills things, isn’t it cute?’“

“Seriously?”

“I have also heard stories from other crews that their humans ordered canines that weigh as much or more then they do, and they sleep next to the giant creature.”

“You are not making me feel better with these stories…”

#3

rustfoxes said:

More “wtf are humans, please leave the rest of us be” stuff:

Human reactions to fear!

No, I’m not talking about screaming or freezing in one spot and pissing yourself. I’m talking about the weirder, more specific-to-only-humans fear reactions.

Like singing.

Idk how many of you have watched people play horror video games, but a surprising amount of people start narrating what’s going on in a sing-song voice.

Imagine being an alien, walking in a horrific, dark tunnel with these weird gangly creatures, you’re all scared out of your wits and then one of them starts f**king singing.

In a dark cave. While everyone’s terrified.

“ ♫ ~We are all gonna f**king die, this is terrible and I wanna go hooooome~ ♬ ”

#4

nightmare3614 said:

I’ve been reading a lot of these “humans are space orcs” posts and that got me thinking…

Imagine that you’re the only human in youre crew. Youre crew is getting attacked by pirates and they start shooting darts with a deadly substance in it. None of youre crewmembers is getting hit, but one dart hits you. The whole crew is freaking out and screaming “Oh no, our human is dying!”

But you don’t feel like you’re about to die. You feel energetic and hyperactive. You manage to blurt out “ohmygodifeelawesomewhatwasinthosedarts?!?” And one crewmember just stares at you like you lost youre mind and says “that… that was caffeine”

And then you spend the next hour running in cyrcles and screaming “WEEEEEEEEE” while your crewmembers slowly start to whish that these darts had killed you.

#5

arafaelkestra said:

To paraphrase one of my favorite bits of a ‘humans are awesome’ fiction megapost: “you don’t know you’re from a Death World until you leave it.” For a ton of reasons, I really like the idea of Earth being Space Australia.

#6

sepulchritude said:

My fav trope is like, nonhuman characters not understanding human needs/customs but still being super supportive of their human companion

“look what I found while exploring this planet’s surface!” “kilrak please I’m trying to sleep” “ah yes your human circadian rhythm. *stage whispering* I am supposed to be quiet during this time in your rhythm, yes?”

“the book I purchased on ragnok V says humans require physical touch when upset. therefore, I shall engage in a ‘hug’ with you.” *supremely awkward five-armed hug ensues*

*human sneezes* “OH MY GOD SIL’EEN GET THE MEDIC OUR HUMAN IS DYING”

“this pamphlet I received recently says that humans require companions and packmates in the form of small earth creatures. you should have told me this before we departed earth, but it is no worry. we will have to stop at the next trade planet to get you one of these ‘cats’ or ‘dogs’.”

agentquinn said:

imagine the aliens really purchasing a kitten for one of their rough and world-weary scifi badass human companions and watching in helpless wonderment what ensues

“she’s been cuddling that small animal for the past fifteen minutes just going ‘kitty, kitty’. did we – did we break our human?”

a more seasoned alien puts one of their tentacles around the younger one as the rest of the team gathers to watch their human make kissy noises.

“no, kilrak,” the alien says. “we did good.”

frowningfoxbones said:

“Human-Steve! I have heard that today is the anniversary of your hatching! According to my human culture pamphlet, it is customary to set a sugary pastry on fire while chanting your species’ growth incantation and presenting sacrifices wrapped in shiny paper. I am afraid to ask, in case this ritual is sacred and this request therefor insensitive… but may I be allowed to participate? It sounds much more fascinating than molting.”

anexperimentallife said:

“Human Steve, I have read about your ritual dance called ‘The Hokey Pokey,’ performed mostly at mate-bonding celebrations after the guests reach an elevated level of intoxication. But Human Steve, how do I know WHICH left foot to put in, put out, and shake all about? I do not… Human Steve, why are you laughing?”

captainarwenpond221b said:

“Human-Steve, you are… you are eating, but it is not one of your ritual fueling times. Are you dying? Is everything alright? Have you not been receiving enough sustenance? Do I need to get you better things to eat? Human-Steve, why are you trying to hide that food?”

rinneavicula said:

“Human-Steve, my research has informed me of a grave oversight in your care that I, as your companion, have made! Thus, I have gathered collections of fictional human literature to read aloud at the time of your bed. Which is more to your liking: “The Care and Keeping of Cacti” or “1001 Crossword Puzzles?” Human-Steve? Human-Steve, I am serious.“

#7

thefauxfox said:

Another humans are weird/space orcs idea that came to me while trying to drink water upside down:

Humans are apex predators. We’re unbreakable and relentless and legion and lethal. Nothing gets to us- except us.

It’s the stupidest little things that can stop up a human.

Many aliens have theorized about this. Perhaps with no natural enemies, the species tried to threaten them with themselves in a desperate search for some kind of challenge. Maybe it’s cosmic karma for being nigh unstoppable. Maybe they had transcended so much that the nuances of life were tiny and incomprehensible to them. Maybe it’s natural selection trying to thin the herd.

Whichever the cause, it’s a strange combination of disturbing and amusing to see a human be defeated by itself. It’s a little alarming to see the most resilient and powerful species in the universe be completely shut down with things that pale in comparison to their normal challenges.

Seeing a human function almost completely fully with several broken bones… but absolutely crippled and reduced to using one arm when faced with a large hangnail.

My dad broke his leg in a snowmobile accident in such a way that the bone was sticking out of his leg. He crawled a half mile in the snow to the nearest house to ask for help. But when he stubs his toe on the coffee table every few weeks, it’ll bring him to his knees.

I recently got a double conch piercing done- two massive needles shoved through the thickest cartilage in my ear, one right after the other. I’ve got 5 other piercings. None, not even the conch, hurt as much as getting a single hair yanked out of my head.

I see people eat some of the world’s hottest foods all laced with capsaicin which can kill things, and drink alcohol that’s literally poisonous, and break pen cases with their teeth. But a too cold slush drink? Unable to talk or move, head between the knees, for about two minutes, because brain freeze. Or, better yet, sometimes we literally choke on spit. Nearly asphyxiate. Because we regularly ‘swallow down the wrong hole’.

Alien: Why did you say, last month, that your broken ribs and arm and massive blood loss was ‘fine’, but when you got a paper cut today, you cried for ten minutes and now still refuse to unwrap your wound? It is tiny in comparison to some things that you’ve faced without hesitation.

Human: Honestly it’s really stupid and I don’t really know, but I will swear up and down and until the day I die, a broken bone hurts way less than a paper cut.

Alien: But… no. It’s not worse. It… that doesn’t make sense.

Human: I know, right? But it’s true.

#8

arcticfoxbear said:

So there has been a bit of “what if humans were the weird ones?” going around tumblr at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking. Earth is a wonky place, the axis tilts, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What if what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather?

What if several species (including humans) land on a world and the humans are all “SCORE! Earth like world! Let’s get exploring before we get out competed!” And the planet starts offing the other aliens right and left, electric storms, hypothermia, tornadoes and the humans are just … there… counting seconds between flashes, having snowball fights, and just surviving.

#9

therainbowgorilla said:

“Don’t-” the human prisoner protested as the squad leader slowly approached a small group of swimming fowl in a nearby pond.

“Silence,” the leader ordered, slowly creeping towards the group. Suddenly, they pounced on one of the creatures, grabbing it in their hands as it exited the pond.

Then everything went to hell.

In an instant, the bird attacked, along with the ones around it.

The creatures moved fast, almost a blur as they pecked away at the leader, squawking loudly. The rest of the alien crew thought about helping, but were much too frightened.

The birds didn’t stop their pecking attack until the squad leader was bleeding and no longer moving.

The rest of the aliens grabbed the human and ran for their f**king lives.

“What were those?” the human was later asked.

“Geese.”

#10

space-ace-in-the-space-race said:

Okay, so going off the whole space Australia thing, imagine aliens would think of ACTUAL AUSTRALIA. Humans are batshit insane, we do some crazy shit, but a decent amount of us are shocked by the mere concept of living in Australia. That place is no joke, it’s a death trap of a continent that somehow became a badass country. You don’t f**k with Australia.

Alien: what is a kangaroo?

Human: oh, it’s an animal from Australia. They hop around and the carry their kids in pouches. They may be cute, but don’t get them angry, they can kill you.

The…the human is actually WARNING them of something? The human is AFRAID?

Human: that’s just Australia for you, though. Literally, EVERYTHING on that continent can kill you, so I guess it’s not THAT off. Be careful if you ever go to Australia, though. It’s a very dangerous place.

And this all of the aliens avoid Australia at all costs because if the f**king HUMANS are scared then it must be the most dangerous and frightening place ever.

#11

bogleech said:

It’s funny how science fiction universes so often treat humans as a boring, default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest.

I want to see a sci-fi universe where we’re actually considered one of the more hideous and terrifying species.

How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldn’t be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actually have the strongest vocal cords and can paralyze or kill the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare “animal” races who can move so quickly and chew shit up with our teeth?

Like that old story “they’re made of meat,” only we’re scarier.

mikhailvladimirovich said:

HOLY SHIT THEY EAT CAPSAICIN FOR FUN

YOU GUYS I HEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN AIRPLANE.

A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN AFTER YOU SHOOT IT

humans are a proud warrior race with a pantheon of bloody gods: Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc.

REMOVING A LIMB WILL NOT FATALLY INCAPACITATE HUMANS: ALWAYS DESTROY THE HEAD.

WARNING: HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE

WARNING: HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A RATE OF 1 PER SPACE YEAR. DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY

THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW MUSCLES.

HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS

WARNING: HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROVISED WEAPONS. SEE CLASSIFIED DATA LABELED J. CHAN.

HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BODY. DO NOT INHALE

OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUTDOOR HANDLES OH GOD OH GOD

prokopetz said:

More seriously, humans do have a number of advantages even among Terrestrial life. Our endurance, shock resistance, and ability to recover from injury is absurdly high compared to almost any other animal. We often use the phrase “healthy as a horse” to connote heartiness – but compared to a human, a horse is as fragile as spun glass. There’s mounting evidence that our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by following it at a walking pace, without sleep or rest, until it died of exhaustion; it’s called pursuit predation. Basically, we’re the Terminator.

(The only other animal that can sort of keep up with us? Dogs. That’s why we use them for hunting. And even then, it’s only “sort of”.)

Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient life did not evolve from hyper-specialised pursuit predators:

Our strength and speed is nothing to write home about, but we don’t need to overpower or outrun you. We just need to outlast you – and by any other species’ standards, we just plain don’t get tired.
Where a simple broken leg will cause most species to go into shock and die, we can recover from virtually any injury that’s not immediately fatal. Even traumatic dismemberment isn’t necessarily a career-ending injury for a human.
We heal from injuries with extreme rapidity, recovering in weeks from wounds that would take others months or years to heal. The results aren’t pretty – humans have hyperactive scar tissue, among our other survival-oriented traits – but they’re highly functional.
Speaking of scarring, look at our medical science. We developed surgery centuries before developing even the most rudimentary anesthetics or life support. In extermis, humans have been known to perform surgery on themselves – and survive. Thanks to our extreme heartiness, we regard as routine medical procedures what most other species would regard as inventive forms of murder. We even perform radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic reasons.
In essence, we’d be Space Orcs.

astrakiseki said:

I do hope you realize I’m going to be picking up this stuff and running with it right?

friendlytroll said:
Our jaws have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way to WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN OUR JAW to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into shape, and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to keep them in place.

We formed cohabitative relationships with tiny mammals and insects we keep at bay from bothering us by death, often using little analouge traps.

And by god, we will eat anything.

siderealsandman said:

We use borderline toxic peppers to season our food.
We expose ourselves to potentially lethal solar radiation in the pursuit of darkening our skin.
We risk hearing loss for the opportunity to see our favorite musicians live.
We have a game where two people get into an enclosed area and hit each other until time runs out/one of them pass out
We willingly jump out of planes with only a flimsy piece of cloth to prevent us from splattering against the ground.
Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buildings in the exact same places.
We climb mountains and risk freezing to death for bragging rights
We invented dogs. We took our one time predators and completely domesticated them.
On a planet full of lions, tigers and bears, we managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the planet.
Klingons and Krogan and Orcs ain’t got shit on us

teal-deer said:

can we talk about how pursuit predation is fucking terrifying

it’s one thing to face down a cheetah, which will slam into you at 60 mph and break your neck

it’s another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to have it just kind of

show up

to have it be intelligent enough to figure out where you are by the fur and feather you’ve left behind, your footprints and piss and shit, and then you think you’ve lost it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS

WAITING

WHEN YOU WAKE UP

and you split! again! but it keeps following you. always in the corner of your eye. until you just

die

we are scary motherf**kers ok

#12

ancientnapdragon said:

I saw a post about how humans were apex predators a little while ago, and one of the points it mentioned was that it’s cause humans have such a wide diet you don’t find in a lot of other animals. plus, we’re pretty poison resistant to things that would hurt/kill most other animals (we’re the only species that is lactose tolerant as the norm, chocolate isn’t poison to us, plus other things that surprised me and i wish i had kept the post :c)

what if most aliens have limited things they can eat? the Susutians can only eat plant matter of a specific color, or Luttans can only eat certain meats from certain types of insects on their planet. so, when they come to earth they’re all like ‘on so what do you eat?’ and they’re thrown through a loop at what choices we have! and they find out that a LOT of the food we eat on the regular is super poisonous to a majority of the known universe!

like, “oh hey, human-steve, thank you for visiting my planet. we’re about to eat the meal of the tirid sun, will you join us?”

“o yeah cool what’s the apple looking thing on that tree?”

“apple….. oh, you mean the highly poison and deadly Punnadix Fruit? those are a scourge of my peopl- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

“uh….. eating it? it’s delicious?”

cue an alien having a heart attack, or whatever the equivalent is. on top of all the other weird shit they’re known for, this makes then rise higher in the list of ‘creatures we are REALLY glad are on our side’.

#13

ainawgsd asked:

What if humans are the only species that gets “mystery” bruises? How weird would it be to aliens that we can sustain an injury that leaves a mark lasting days or sometimes weeks but don’t remember how we got it?

what-are-even-humans said:

I love it!

Humans are already terrifying enough, but then it gets injuries like contusions (which is deadly to several species mind you!) and it doESN’T EVEN KNOW WHY?!?!?!?

At first the interspecies council thinks it’s a joke. Yes, it has already been established that a human just plain won’t die (with very few exceptions, like decapitation) and contusions aren’t that dangerous for most species. That it’d be unsuccessful at killing a human wasn’t surprising, but that they some times don’t even know how they’ve gotten the contusion? No that has to be a joke.

It’s ruled as another myth until a member of the council travels with a ship with a few human crew-members. Trofaxiq the Elder had taken a stroll around the ship a few days into the voyage when he heard two humans talking.

“Maybe you walked into something?” The tall, highly pigmented one said, inspecting something on the slightly shorter, less pigmented one.

“Yeah, you know I’m clumsy, but the position’s weird, isn’t it?” The shorter one said, looking down at their own appendage.

“So maybe you got it in your sleep?” The tall one suggested as the short one spotted Trofaxiq the Elder and jabbed its appendage into their fellow human’s sternum. A less experienced Froentir would have mistaken it for an attack, but Trofaxiq the Elder knew enough about human behaviour to know it was called a ‘nudge’ and was socially acceptable.

After the normal exchange of greetings and pleasantries, Trofaxiq the Elder eventually asked the humans what they had been discussing. The tall one, Fatima, said the short one, Lucía had gotten a bruise, but couldn’t remember how. Unsure what a bruise was, Trofaxiq the Elder asked, but quickly came to wish they hadn’t as they saw the large contusion on the humans appendage.

Less than one rotation later, the human guide had been updated, and a suggestion had been made to add a classification so they could mark humans down as more dangerous than the previous “extremely dangerous, do not approach in the wild”

The only problem was how useful humans could be to expeditions. In the end, the suggestion wasn’t passed, to the worry of many council members.

#14

fenerismoon said:

So I’ve read a few humans are weird posts and it got me thinking, what if humans are the only species to evolve to use fire. Like, most intelligent species will instinctively flee in panic the moment they catch sight of an open flame, yet show a human infant a fire and if they don’t know better, they will try to grab it.

Humans will burn everything. Most of us won’t eat anything unless it has been “Cooked” first. (A human word meaning to heat food until it has begun to denature but not yet started to carbonize.)

Start a small fire and instead of fleeing, humans will gather around it and start socializing.

We get intoxicated by setting specific plants on fire and inhaling the smoke, often with the burning embers mere inches from our sensitive face.

We use it to clear land for agriculture and hunting. We use it to punish criminals. We even use it for purely aesthetic purposes. (Think fireworks.)

Heck, we we discovered hydrocarbons, the first thing we did was burn them. In fact, humans were burning so much hydrocarbons they were literally altering the atmosphere of their planet.

Heck, humans have died because they literally did not have enough materials to burn.
Now imagine hostile aliens want to invade earth. They don’t use fire except for carefully controlled and heavily guarded industrial purposes. They also don’t know much about earth other than it is definitely inhabited and the people haven’t developed intergalactic travel.

They’re expecting to face primitive forces armed with the local equivalent of clubs and bows. What they get is, to them, a strange anachronistic jumble of expected primative technologies and highly advanced technologies that they definitely shouldn’t have.

They’re not expecting guns. (Projectile weapons that consist of a narrow tube with projectile and a chemical propellent stuffed into one end. Instead of an electromagnetic pulse, the propellant is ignited and the expanding gases shoot the projectile out of the tube.)

They’re not expecting powered vehicles. Instead of electric motors, humans have what they call the internal combustion engine. (A motor that works by sucking flammable gas into an enclosed chamber, igniting the gas under pressure, and using the resulting force from the detonation to move a piston. Because of that, humans have heavy machinery, self-propelled vehicles, and powered air-craft before they even really understood bio electricity.

They’re not expecting bombs, or incendiary weapons. (It was also how it was discovered that their bio-polymer armor, while excellent against projectiles, can actually burn at surprisingly low temperatures.

They’re not even expecting smelted metal. Steel to them is a high tech material that can only be produced under specialized conditions of extreme heat, and requires very specialized facilities to produce. They are shocked to discover that humans have been smelting copper before they developed writing.

And they are definitely not expecting nuclear weapons. (Which are basically “bombs” that instead of using combustable chemicals use an uncontrolled nuclear fission reaction. They are also aghast to discover that not only was this apparently the first thing we thought to do when we discovered fission, but that competing human faction have “how many of these weapons stockpiled!?”

After retreating in disgrace, the task force sent to monitor the plant is horrified to report that humans are rapidly expanding into space. They aren’t using gravitic lifters or electromagnetic mass drivers. They are apparently simply loading equipment and personnel into special “missiles” and using a shit ton of highly combustable fuel to simply launch themselves into space

#15

skr4mbl3d3ggz said:

Imagine the first time aliens see a human “zone out” while working. The human is just completely unresponsive for a short while and the aliens have no idea what’s happening.

Marnie had been working for a long time. She never took breaks for anything, and knowing how busy she was, the rest of the crew just left her to it. Eventually, they realized that she hasn’t been seen outside of her office for a few Earth days, so Kaogj finally decided to confront her about it.
“Human-Marnie,” xe said, “You have been absent from the rest of the ship for quite some time. Could you take a break from your work and rejoin us?”
Marnie didn’t respond. She hadn’t even acknowledged Kaogj’s presence. Kaogj took a deep breath and tried once more, “Human-Marnie, I understand your work may be important. If I recall correctly you can’t stay here and neglect your needs like this. Please come join us.”
Again, Marnie didn’t respond. The door to Marnie’s office slowly creaked open. Vincent, the other human shipmate, shuffled in quietly. Kaogj looked at him worriedly.
“Human-Vincent, what is happening with Human-Marnie? She is not acknowledging me. Is she ill?” Xe asked, voice hushed.
“No, no, she’s fine! She’s not sick. She’s just in the zone right now, that’s all.” Vincent breathed, smiling warmly. Kaogj looked even more concerned at this.
“The zone? What does that mean? Will Human-Marnie survive?!”
Vincent chuckled to himself. It was so funny to see the aliens encounter these things that humans deal with so commonly.
“Yes, Marnie will survive! Being ‘in the zone’ is another way of saying that someone is super focused on what they are doing, so they block out everything else. Some of us, like Marnie, can’t hear things in that state. I’ll show you.” Vincent leaned over Marnie’s work bench and waved his hand above the documents she was writing on. She looked up, then stood up and stretched.
“Hey Vinnie! What’s up?” She said cheerfully.
“Sorry to bother you, but Kaogj thought you were dying or something because you’ve been working in here for so long and you wouldn’t respond. The crew wants you to join us for a meal.”
“My apologies! I get so absorbed in my work, time just slips past me. I’ll gladly join you guys, I’m starving!”
Kaogj looked down at his tablet and quickly wrote ‘Investigate Zoning Out’. This odd state is definitely going to need some research.

#16

akireyta said:

I keep thinking about, and about species exploiting niches, and it occurs that humans would probably been seen as excellent candidates for the galactic equivalent of search and rescue.

we’re tough as nails, have endurance for days, actively enjoy a huge range of temperatures and environmental conditions and bond with anything and can empathize to the extent we see faces on inanimate objects.

more than one lost and desperate alien has heard a bunch of humans yahooing it up down a cliff-face and felt the sweet rush of relief 🙂

#17

mayhemxtwins said:

Alien sees a human crying and is like “why is there water coming from your ocular portals?” and the human is like “it’s because i’m sad, it’s how my body makes me feel better” so the alien is like well that’s weird but okay
same alien walks into a room where humans are laughing and sees one crying. alien gets angry and wants to know why everyone’s laughing while this person is crying because it learned at some point that laughing means you’re happy and the crying person is like “oh sorry no, I’m crying because I’m laughing so much” and the alien is ???? “you’re so happy that you’re sad?” and the humans are like well…..crying doesn’t always mean sad……and the alien gives up on trying to understand humans

#18

reptar3000 said:

Terrans are known for being some of the bravest if not stupidly adventurous species, they always go on about their thirst for knowledge and their speeches and monologue about it puts anyone in the mood to explore they make u feel their emotions with their word almost like a spell that projects it in my crew there was an over ecstatic female that was in shock to hear that I really didn’t like being in the exploration crew after being assigned to it I asked her “ What’s so important about this half the planets we find are un inhabitable” she replied with “ How can you not love it what if there is a chance to find sentient life other like us and bring them the joy of this knowledge” another crew member joined in “yeah what is it with terrans and knowledge?” “What is life with out knowing, what is the point of living in ignorance there is so much not discovered so much to learn from maybe it’s just us terrans but learning is like breathing we can’t live with out it back then when earth was still just humans the original terrens they found each other they sailed frontiers explored to know everything about the planet they traveled to the moon to see what else is there what is beyond the horizon and now I like my ancestors before me explore because I can and want to I want to find more learn more bring to my people so they can benefit from it. Us terrans only live so long but record everything what would life be if all we did was eat sleep and die Nothing and we know space is vast and maybe endless but it’s my job to explore Space The Final Frontier” her speech had everyone on the ship with starry eyes looking for more when I asked her about it how did she come up with that speech she just said “it just comes from my heart”.

Read more: http://www.boredpanda.com/

adminadmin18 Stories That Show What Humans Consider Normal Is Actually Very Strange
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15+ Cringiest Moments Where People Had To Say This Isnt What It Looks Like

We’ve all been caught in an uncomfortable situation that looked weird on the outside but actually had a pretty reasonable explanation. Too bad, that often these experiences are so awkward for all the people involved that you don’t even have an opportunity to explain yourself. A Reddit user asked people to share their ‘biggest this isn’t what it looks like moments’ and the thread was flooded with the most embarrassing stories. Scroll below to read some and share your own in the comments! (Facebook cover image: iStock)

#2

More of a “this isnt what it sounds like”…

A family we were close to had just moved to the US from India. They had a young daughter, like 5 years old, who was still learning English. One day she fell down the stairs while playing outside. She ran in crying and saying “The stairs hit me!”… once she calmed down her dad corrected her and said “No no. You mean to say ‘I fell down the stairs’.”

A few days later my dad was showing them the grocery store. In the checkout line the cashier saw the girl’s bruised up legs and asked what happened. The daughter responded with “What did you tell me to say, dad? Oh right! I fell down the stairs.”

He had a fun time explaining that to the police.

#3

It was my third day at my new office job. When I washed my hands my pants touched the counter top which was covered with water. Naturally I now look like I pissed myself and had a giant 6 by 6 soaked area around my crotch. I couldnt walk around with that so I thought to use the hand dryer. However, the hand dryer was the type that you stick your hands in rather under. So I line up and basically mount this hand dryer like I am looking for a good time. I look at myself in the mirror and as I start thinking “this wont look good if…” and of course the CIO walks in before I could finish the thought and react. He looks at me and in deadpan voice says “Do I need to call HR?” to which I responded “No, its consensual.” We had a good laugh about it and he never let me forget that moment!

#4

This is one of my moms absolute favorite stories to tell:

My partner and I were in a kind of long distance relationship at this point (high schoolers living 40mins apart) and they would occasionally drive up after school to come see me

On this particular day my mom came home from work and was concerned with the lack of sound.

I hear her calling my name as she comes closer, she eventually gets to my closed bedroom door not wanting to see what I’m sure every parent would expect by this point

She swings it open and finds my partner and I

…..putting together our brand new Millennium Falcon (full size for action figures) that we had just purchased from Toys R us

My dog kept stepping on the pieces and messing things up in his dopiness so we closed the door

After that she never worried about us being alone.

Honestly think this might be the moment where my mom decided she wanted to adopt my partner.

Sometimes, I’m not sure who she loves more……. s/

Btw – My partner and I got married this year and we still have that Millennium Falcon

#5

I used to take my kids to different playgrounds as they were growing up. Often times I’d be out there with them, chasing them, being the random monster/dragon/antagonist while they run away and then eventually turn around and chase me back. Inevitably since the rest of the parents were on their iPhones or doing anything but interacting with their kids, I’d end up with a collection who wanted to join in the fun.

It was all going well until they said they wanted to play “Minecraft”

So as a group of kids suddenly scatter from where I am standing yelling “Ah! Run away from the Creeper! Ahhh!” I look up to see a line of parents suddenly jostled back into consciousness with absolutely no friggin context whatsoever.

#6

My dad not me. Working construction in the dead of winter he gets back to the motel after pulling the night shift, he sits down on the bed and he is so frozen can’t bend down to take off his boots so his coworker who is a gigantic man gets down on his knees to undo my dad’s boots. The cleaning lady barges in to see a massive man on his knees and head down in front of another man who’s sitting on the edge of a bed. Now my father did what anyone would do threw his hands behind his head and moaned real loud.

#7

Anytime I open a can that isn’t cat food I have to explain to my cat that “this isn’t what it looks like.”

#8

I work as a manager at a grocery store. Some cashiers aren’t old enough to scan alcohol so I have to do it for them. I made a comment to a female cashier after the 4th time she called me over. “I can’t wait until you’re 19.” Took me a few seconds to realize what I said, in front of customers.

#9

I used to work security/reception at my company, so I greeted everyone when they came in the door and made sure they were wearing their security badge. You could either wear your badge on a lanyard around your neck or on a retractable belt clip.

So I’ve been doing this job for like 2 years when I’m outside talking to some of the girls that work on the 2nd floor. One of them just flat out asks why I always check out women when they come in to visit.

Excuse me?

Turns out, there was a lot of talk about how I was “looking women up and down” when they came through the door. Well, I was looking everyone up and down. I would look at their chest first and if there was no badge there, my eyes would move to their belt. It was kind of my job and stuff.

#10

I will preface this by saying a couple of weeks prior to this, my wife had bought some frilly underwear on clearance sale, and a couple of bananas to eat on the way to work. I was chilling in the car at the store while she went in when I smelled nasty over-ripe bananas. I reached into the backseat and pulled out the bag that had been forgotten back there. I take the underwear out of the bag and tie the old banana up dog poo style. No big deal, right?

For whatever reason, my brain goes I wonder if these brand new underwear now reek of old squishy banana? and I put them to my nose and take a big whiff- right as a sweet old lady pulls into the parking spot in front of our car. She looks at me, panties pressed into my nose inhaling deeply, her eyes go wide with shock, and visibly shaking, she pulls back out of the spot and drives away. Literally leaves. Shopping trip cancelled. I know I had to look like some kind of degenerate pervert on a public minge-binge, but it wasn’t what it looked like.

TLDR: Looked like a dirty panty sniffing weirdo in the grocery store parking lot, nearly make old lady stroke out in horror

I went to my friend’s house last night (edit: not actually last night. I told this story before on Reddit and copy-pasted it without changing the time frame) and came back around 12:30am. To set some context, my friend lives about an hour away from me on the opposite side of the city. When I was driving back home afterwards, this car cut me off on the on ramp, and I honked at them. I then turned back up the music, and pretty much drove home on autopilot, but when I got off the freeway at my exit, I realized that the same car that cut me off was in front of me. After that, I got kind of curious, because it had been about 30 minutes since the incident, and we’d changed freeways twice already. I then got a little bit worried that they’d think I was following them home, but I didn’t think too much of it–until the car started going up the same side streets I did.

Eventually, I realized that my 16-year old neighbor who just learned how to drive cut me off, and she and her friends were probably now petrified that some lunatic was following them home. I guess she’d called her parents in the meantime because she pulled into her driveway and the house lights were all lit up, and her dad (a huge guy) was standing outside with a baseball bat. I then pulled into my own garage and apologized for scaring them and it was all chill after that.

#12

When I was little, my mom would sometimes take me to work with her at a little shop she ran. I would often pass the time (and stay out of mom’s hair) by drawing and handing out my “works of art†to customers. One day, when I was 3 or 4, I learned about dialing 911. I apparently thought the concept was so important, I wrote “call 911†on all the doodles I handed out to the customers at mom’s shop that evening. Obviously people starting thinking I had been kidnapped or something, and freaked out. My mom had fun explaining that one to the police!

#13

My boyfriend and I had a fight and both went to bed grumpily (we were housemates and had separate bedrooms). In the middle of the night I heard a LOUD thump in the living room area of the house. I grabbed my baseball bat and went through the whole house with the bat (and the lights on). Every closet, every cupboard, etc. Nothing was out of order and the doors were locked. I was still spooked and running high on adrenaline.

It was about 4:30 in the morning and I had to get up at 6 so I just gave up on going back to sleep before that. I debated what to do for the hour and a half and decided to go to IHOP (open 24h where I live). As I was about to leave I realized that if I left my sleeping boyfriend in the house and the murderer WAS actually still there and killed him I would feel extremely guilty. So I went to wake him up just enough to warn him before I left for IHOP.

He woke up to me leaning over his bed, holding a bat, and whispering about murder. He almost cried.

#14

I was 16 and my parents just left the house for a dinner out. I had to do laundry so I start right after they left the door to get it done as early as possible.

As I’m filling the machine I notice a stain on my shirt and so I put it with the rest of the clothes. I also look at my pants and decide to add them as well along with my socks and…f**k it my underwear as well.

So I’m butt naked and I start the machine. I rush to the stairs to get to my room and dress up and that’s when the front door (which is right where the stairs are) opens and I freeze.

My dad comes in and sees me naked. We both aren’t moving a few seconds and then he laughs, grabs his wallet on the table and says: “So THAT’S what you are doing while we aren’t here?”. He then closes the door while giggling.

I’m there still in shock and red as a beet. I rush to dress and call my parents on my mother’s cell phone to tell them it’s not what they think as they are just laughing their asses off.

#15

My best friend of 15 years, J, is a guy and with me being a girl we have always endured people assuming we HAVE to have sex. Spoiler: we don’t.

Anyways, we are camping with a few friends and got supremely drunk. One of my girlfriends, M, has taken off into the woods after a fight with her boyfriend and the 4 of us are trying to find her. At this point, I’m so full of tequila I know I’m about to puke so I ask my best friend to hold my hair back.

We are in complete darkness, I’m on all fours puking, he’s awkwardly standing in front of me kinda crouched down because he’s a foot taller than me and holding all my hair up while I heave. It looked… I know HOW it looked but on my life I was getting sick. At this exact moment, M runs out of the woods, flashlight directly on us and screams “HOLY S**T SHES BLOWING HIM!â€

I’m legit puking so hard I don’t even hear her. By the time we got back to the campfire M had told everyone else what she saw. She’s still adamant to this day that she knows what she saw.

Edit: wow everyone got the wrong idea of M completely! She’s really not a b**ch, dramatic OH GOD yes but a b**ch no. We had a metric f**k ton of tequila that night no one was thinking rationally😂

As for J, he’s not in the ‘friend zone’ ya f**kin’ sad dads. It’s possible to love someone, enjoy their company and emotional support, without wanting or needing to put your genitalia into their assorted body cavities.

#16

Back when the Netflix app on Xbox had the theatre setting where you could invite friends and watch movies. My friends and I were watching the history of sex documentary (being horny 12 year olds and thinking sex was funny) they paused the video on the statue of two guys f**king, then my dad walked in. I looked at him embarrassed saying, “this isnt what it looks like” my dad said, “it’s okay mike I’d love you anyways” and walked out.

#17

Alright, as a student, when I visited my hometown I got to visit my grandma before leaving back to university and grandma always had small chocolates for people visiting her. Her grandchildren would get more than one usually. As I was leaving the house she gave me one more to have it during the travel back home.

I ate a piece of chocolate while loading my stuff in the car and I put the small chocolate in my back pocket, right before I say goodbye to my parents. It was a hot day at the end of summer.

A bit before the exit to the highway I was taking, I stopped at a traffic light and realized that the chocolate between my butt and my car seat was not a good idea, so I’m reaching for it. Chocolate already melted and package already open made my left hand full of melted chocolate.

Following the loud “well, s**t”, I realize that the girl in the car next to me just saw a guy reaching his butt and bringing his hand up again full of a brown unknown sticky thing.

The look on her face was totally worth it. Only bad thing is that melted chocolate won’t go away only with tissues.

#18

My friend and I were sitting at lunch bitching about this Chris guy who was in our class and who was an absolute twat. Really not a nice human being. At one point I turned around and saw another Chris, an absolute sweetheart, sitting nearby looking absolutely crushed. Took 5 minutes to convince him that we were not talking about him. I felt so bad though.

#19

Not me but a kid I worked with. He comes in to the break room holding some sandwiches and a Dr Pepper, sits down and starts eating and then tries to have a drink but he can’t open it. I offer to twist the lid off but no, he can do it he says.

So he puts this Dr Pepper in between his legs, grabs the lid with both hands and twists. This, obviously, wasn’t a bright idea. It explodes over his lap making him look like he’s pissed himself.

So he goes to the bathroom to clean up, gets some loo roll and starts mopping up but it still looks really bad.

Over by the radiator is a hand dryer, so in his infinite wisdom he puts one foot on top of the radiator and the angles his crotch to the hand dryer and starts rubbing furiously as the hand drier’s going.

Unluckily for him, he’s facing away from the door so when the next guy walks in all he can see is this skinny dude rubbing his crotch like no tomorrow while waving it under the hand drier.

Apparently the guy just walked right on back out after muttering a “sorry”.

He didn’t find it funny when I pointed out the Dr Pepper motto was “What’s the worst that can happen?”

#20

One time during my teens, I was using my grandparents’ computer to look up video game cheat codes. I was worried they might disapprove that I was using cheats, so when my grandfather walked into the room, I quickly minimized the window and turned around to say hello and ask what he needed.

His response: “Oh nothing important, I’ll just come back later.” He almost seemed to be rushing out.

I turned back to the computer screen in confusion, to see that minimizing the window had revealed a pornographic pop-up ad hiding in the background. I was super embarrassed. He never mentioned it though.

I put my dad in this situation when I was a kid. Probably around 10 years old or so.

For context, my dad rarely drank in front of us growing up but would occasionally have a beer. As parents often do, he would have me go get it for him if we were in the same room. I was a lazy kid and didn’t want to miss whatever we were watching on TV so I often found this to be an annoyance but pretty minor in the grand scheme of things.

So one day he’s chatting with a couple coworkers and I’m there. They were joking around about something and he turns to me and asks “You like me, right?” I answer back “Yeah except for when you drink beer”.

Adult me face palms every time I think about that. My dad is awesome.

#22

My boyfriend and I were jumping on the trampoline together years ago, just bouncing around like a couple of kids, laughing our butts off. It was fun! He accidentally butt dialed his parents, who speakerphoned our laughing, creaking springs, and gasping to a car load of people. They were all mortified. We were able to set it straight later, but OOF. Sorry mom and dad.

#23

The girl I was dating during sophomore year of college and I were both organ majors, preparing for an upcoming duet.

During the summer, it was so warm in the church where we practiced (no air conditioning, and the organ installed up high in the rear where it was extra hot) that she and I played in our underwear, with just a small fan to move the air.

We were shocked when we heard the locked door open, and saw the pastor enter the church. He glanced at us, playing the organ in next-to-nothing, but quickly left and locked the door behind him.

Later he told me at first he did a double-take, but then realized we were doing the smart thing – and that in his seminary days, he would’ve done likewise.

#24

I worked at a care home for the elderly. We had one patient who had Alzheimer’s and one of the few ways we had to calm her when upset was to have her fold the napkins. I guess it made her calm to know she was being helpful, or maybe it reminded her of her past as a wife/mother.

So she was doing her folding one afternoon and a potential new resident comes in with her family. My resident with Alzheimer’s wants a change of pace, but words it like “I’m really getting tired…”

It looked for sure like were forcing elderly people with dementia to do all our work… until they were exhausted.

#25

Technically my mom’s.

My eldest cousin was a little shit. She was with my mom (her aunt) at the grocery store. She was around 5. My mom told her she could pick a treat, she said she wanted a candy and an ice cream. Mom said no, she had to pick 1.

So my cousin says to the cashier ‘shes not my mother!’ and the cashier freaks out thinking cousins been kidnapped or something. Mom had to explain that she’s her aunt. I think they ended up having to call my aunt, cousins mom, to explain the situation. This was back in like ’85. My mom’s still annoyed.

#26

Oh man. Sitting at a traffic light when I was eighteen. Wanted to get something out of my pocket (chapstick I think). I was wearing jeans that, when sitting, might as well have locked pockets. I keep my eyes forward so I can see if the light turns green, while I dig into my pocket. Have to kind of thrust my hips upwards and move a bit to reach my hand fully into my jeans. During my gyrating pocket quest I make eye contact with a girl crossing the crosswalk (I’m a guy). A look of horror crosses her face and she says something to her friend. The other girl gives me a disgusted look as well and they hurry across the crosswalk. I’m sure it looked bad from their perspective.

#27

I was getting ready to take a shower (my bedroom has its own bathroom/shower) and I was already naked in my bedroom simply waiting for the water to get hot. Well, my dog was also in my bedroom because he always hangs out there. I was eating M&Ms just lying on my bed naked during this time and dropped an M&M onto the ground and it rolled under my bed. Being very anxious about what my dog eats (especially chocolate), I quickly got onto my knees on the ground and went to reach under the bed for the M&M. It rolled kinda far, so I was doing that thing where you are stretching your arm out as much as you can under the bed and just barely touching whatever it is you’re trying to get, without knocking it farther away. Well, my golden retriever saw the position I was in and walked over and mounted me. Literally at that moment, my mom opens the door to my bedroom and sees me butt naked, bent on my knees, with my dog mounted behind me. I mean, talk about the doggy style position……. I had a lot of explaining to do. It felt like an American Pie situation.

#28

When I was in middle school we were roller skating and I couldn’t stop so I lifted my hands to not hit this girl in front of me. Of course I’m like “ahhhhhhhh” as I’m about to run into her and because of this she turns around right as I’m about to hit her and both my hands cup her boobs.

The teacher was like “Ron what the hell are you doing?!”

#29

Not mine but just heard this story last week from a buddy. At a ball game with his sister/brother in law and 4-5yo nephew. Brother in line for concessions, sister back at seats or whatever, little one needs to use restroom, they tell my buddy no problem just head in with the kid he knows the drill. The kid, like many do, starts to kind of strip down before going to the bathroom starts asking inquisitive questions about why there are so many people in bathroom, why are things the way they are in that restroom, but finally culminating with the now practically naked little kid asking him in a crowded public restroom, “but where is my family?”

#30

Friend was growing weed in his closet, we were checking it out and his mom comes calling and then just walks right upstairs into his apartment. He runs out to intercept her, I run out 2 mins later after closing up the rig, and she thinks to this day we were having sex. Even told his then-fiance that she understands if we have a “group arrangement”…

Went to a friend’s house and since it was an after party for a play, in high school, on a Friday, of course there was beer and we were all underage. I wasn’t drinking but a buddy of mine needed to go home so I dropped him off and headed back. As I got out of the car when I got back I noticed it was quiet but it’s a huuuge house (like 4-5k square feet) and I figured they were in the basement doing something quieter and I couldn’t hear them. Front door locked… OK I was just here 15 minutes ago, head to back door, unlocked. Awesome. Now the entire house was beeping as if someone was breaking in. Holy fuck that’s this house right here. OH F**K THAT’S ME.

Run into basement, nobody there. Upstairs, nobody there. Kitchen, lights off. Start to hear the house phone ring but I don’t answer and I know it’s too late. Call friend, no answer. Call another friend, no answer. See beer cans everywhere so I clean them up and hide them, hid the brownies they had, checked around the house one more time for stuff and waited for my inevitable demise. Friends call me back as I’m outside freaking the hell out and they start to rush home.

Long story short the cops showed up with two dogs and guns pointed at me and I get slammed to the ground and handcuffed, friends arrived at home and explained situation just in time before I’m hauled off, they decided to run out to eat at the exact convenient time I left, never told me, and left the bank door unlocked with the house alarm armed. That was a hell of a night…

#32

Was sitting and watching TV, neighbors came over to visit with their kids. Their daughter runs over, inexplicably sits in my lap and bounces up and down several times before I can stand up.

The remote was in my lap. Kid says “What’s that hard thing?” and stands up quickly. A little shaken, I also stand up, the remote falls off my lap and lands on the floor, and as I lean down to pick it up, I take a step forward and I kick it under the coffee table. Turn to explain myself, notice I’m wearing pants that bunch up in the crotch Larry David style.

Awkward.

#33

I pulled an all-nighter once, came home after work, and sat down at the computer to check some emails. I was barely able to comprehend the words on the screen I was so tired. I reached into my gym shorts to scratch my balls, and I guess i just passed out within the next few seconds. I was discovered passed out in the computer chair with my hand down the front of my shorts.

#34

My brother and I got into a fist fight(he was right, I was wrong) and he punched me in the mouth. I was bleeding pretty good and kept spitting blood on him for some reason. He went into the condo(vacation) and my mom freaked out because he had blood all over him. It went a little like this Mom – OMG YOU’RE COVERED IN BLOOD Brother – calm down it isn’t my blood Mom – OMFG WHOSE BLOOD IS IT WHAT DID YOU DO?!?! Brother – Mom It’s fine it’s just Tyler’s(me) blood Mom – OMFG DID YOU F**KING KILL HIM?!?! WHERE IS TYLER?!?!? I walked in shortly after alive and well. The dispute between my brother and I was settled btw.

#35

This is light-hearted.

I was like 13 channel surfing. I’m flowing through the crap channels. Exaclty as my dad walks in the back door with my little brother, I flip past a shopping network that is showing bras on live models. I must have been on that channel for .8 seconds. It was so ridiculously timed, that it looked like I had the show on and changed it right after he came in. He gave me s**t for it and wouldn’t believe me.

#36

When my brother was young he was playing with the vacuum and covered himself with those suction circles. He had a physical later that day and looked like he was covered in hickeys

#37

Also more of a “this isn’t what it sounds like”…

I was a weird person in high school, and my friends were equally weird. We had no boundaries.

My friend and I were walking to class, and were discussing the Jackass clip where they had a gas mask and tube assembly where one person wore the mask and the other farted into the tube. We thought this sounded like a pretty cool idea and were considering trying this out..

As we walked around the corner, I said to him, “I’ll suck yours if you’d suck mine”. Que the hot girl conveniently rounding the corner at that precise moment…

#38

My wife and I used to hide money in her underwear drawer so our kids won’t be digging through it because they think it’s gross. One morning, I was getting dressed and wanted to get some money before I forget, so I was digging through her underwear when my 5-year old son saw me. He asked what I was doing and naturally, I can’t tell him that I needed money so I had to say something like that I was cleaning things up. Pretty sure he didn’t believe me and thought I was looking for a pair to wear.

Read more: http://www.boredpanda.com/

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25+ Times Boyfriends And Husbands Made Sure Their Relationship Is Never Boring (New Pics)

Long term relationships are a fulfilling commitment that, done right, can become the defining element of a long and happy life. Years of familiarity does mean however that a certain frisson, the thrill of spontaneity, does sometimes get lost in the comfortable routines of everyday coexistence.

These guys understand this, and like to keep their significant others guessing. And what better way to do that than with a creative practical joke? Because nothing is sexier than a sense of humor, right?

We here at Bored Panda have compiled a list of boyfriends and husbands who make sure their relationships never get boring, as a follow on to our previous post. Scroll down to check them out for yourself, and don’t forget to vote for the ones you like best!

#1 Legend Has It They Remain Hidden To This Day

#2 Went To NYC On Business And I Had To Show My Wife I Wasn’t Enjoying It Without Her, So Here Is Me Having A Bad Time All Over New York

#3 R.I.P

#4 Day 14 Of Wife Being On A Work Trip

#5 My Wife Really Likes It When I Do House Work So I Sent Her These Pictures While She Was At Work Hoping It Would Turn Her On

#6 My Wife Hates Being Embarrassed, So We Surprised Her At The Airport

#7 The Handsomest Man

#8 Great Deal

#9 Probably Another Bored Boyfriend At The Hobby Lobby

#10 My Wife Is Smokin’ Hot So I Picked The Shower Curtain

#12 Can A Girl Poop In Peace? My BF & Our Cat!

#13 Just Got To Tennis. Boyfriend Has Taken My Racket Out And Put A Frying Pan In Instead. I’m Not Even Joking

#14 My Husband Has Been Sticking These In Places I Can’t Reach To Annoy Me. It’s Working

#15 My Wife Ordered This On Amazon For Our Baby Announcement But It Didn’t Fit Her So I Decided To Put It To Use

#16 I Let My Husband Decorate The Bathroom

#17 My Wife Ran And Won Her Age Group In Her First 5 K This Weekend. Here Are A Couple Pictures From The Race

#18 My Girlfriend Put The Quote On The Left, It Took Her 2 Weeks To Realize I Changed It

#19 My Wife Took The Toddler And Left Me With The Baby Yesterday Morning. She’s A Worrywart And I Love Photoshop. Lesson Learned: Don’t Reply With Just A Photoshopped Picture When She Asks How Things Are Going With The Baby

#20 When You Leave Your Wife In The Car To Shop At The Hardware Store On A Really Hot Day

#22 Just Doing What My Wife Asked

#23 My Friend Played A Prank On His Girlfriend. She Has A Night Vision Motion-Activated Camera Setup In A Quest To Treat A Sick Coyote. She Checks The Footage Every Morning Religiously. He Rented A Sasquatch Outfit And Walked Around The Camera At 4 Am

#24 Built A Garden For My Wife A Few Months Ago And It Is Finally Time For The Bountiful Harvest. Tonight, We Feast Like Kings

#25 Wife Gave Me One Job To Do For The Day – To Get The Dogs Tag Engraved

#26 Styling Done Right

#27 Being The Girlfriend, I Was Given The Job To Decorate Our New Home. Yesterday, My Boyfriend Said He Wanted To Pick Just One Piece Of Decor Out. I Was Impressed He Actually Wanted To Be Involved! Next Day, He Walks In Smiling, And Introduced Me To Kittiana Jones. This Is Why I’m The Chosen One

#28 At The Time My Girlfriend Didn’t Know Why I Wanted My Photo Taken On This Side Of The Bridge

#29 My GF’s Obsession With Cheesy Cursive Signs Inspired Me To Make My Own Uninspirational Signs

#30 Women Confuse Me. My Girlfriend Sent Me Out For Groceries, And Like Any Rational Person, I Thought That Meant Go Get Hats For The Dogs. Turns Out She Was Hungry

#32 I Made My Wife A Shower Curtain Of Me Drinking A Beer In The Shower. She Wasn’t Impressed

#33 Valentine’s Card From My Lovely Hubby

#34 Savage

#35 My Husband And In-Laws Wanted A Family Photo While I Was In Labor And Having Contractions

#36 After Months Of Denial And Many Nights On The Couch. I Finally Got The Evidence To Prove To My Wife Why She Sleeps Better Than I Do

#37 Friend Works At Mr. Lube And Sent Me This

#38 Bored Walking Around Hobbycraft With My Girlfriend And Did The Most British Thing Possible. She Thought I Was Immature But I Think I’m Hilarious

#39 My Girlfriend Told Me To Do The Laundry And Wash The Kitten

#40 Wife: “Where Are You?†Me:

#42 My Girlfriend Got A Bit Of A Shock When I Dropped To One Knee Only To Tie Up My Shoelace. Was Not Expecting The Verbal Onslaught That Occurred Afterwards (Props To The Stranger For The Photo)

#43 I Guess My Boyfriend Didn’t Quite Understand When I Said He Should Be The Penguin

#44 My Wife Told Me This Fork Was For The Crab. I Remain Dubious

#45 This Is What Happens When You Leave Your Boyfriend Alone For 5 Mins…

#46 Girlfriend Said “Go Get A New Shower Curtain Before My Mom Arrives.” I Think This Is Fair

#47 My Roommate’s Girlfriend Didn’t Understand Why We Were Laughing At Her Shoes

#48 My Husband Is Real Mature. Couldn’t Leave The Crayola Experience Without Naming His Own Color. Payton Is My Moms Dog That Will Hump Literally Anything

#49 Asked My Husband To Put The Pillowcases On The Pillows

#50 So Me And My Girlfriend Had A Maternity Photoshoot And…

#52 What Nearly 14 Years Of Marriage Looks Like Over Here…

#53 Wife Said “No Cheap Flamingo In My Yard.†1 Month And Counting

#54 My Dad Made This Pic Of Our Rock Climbing Trip When I Was In 5th Grade And Sent To Mom. She Was Not Amused

#55 I Snuck This Reminder On My Wife’s Phone

#56 I Got My Girlfriend A New Bike Helmet. With A Drake Face-Print Balaclava Now She Looks Like A Custom Video Game Character

#57 Went To A Ride Through “Safari”. I Took At Least 200 Pics. This Is The Only Pic My Husband Took

#58 I Bought A Tiny Violin To Play When My Coworkers Or Girlfriend Complain

#59 This King Size Bed Keeps Getting Smaller And Smaller

#60 My Girlfriend And I Decided To Swap When We Agreed To Be Peter Pan And Tinkerbell

Read more: http://www.boredpanda.com/

adminadmin25+ Times Boyfriends And Husbands Made Sure Their Relationship Is Never Boring (New Pics)
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8 Hilariously Accurate Comics That Show What Would Happen If People Acted Like Dogs

Most of us love dogs, but let’s face it some of their behavior can be pretty strange, and if you didn’t think so before it’s time to put yourself in their paws. Hot Paper Comics creator Martin Rosner created a series that allows you to do some hilarious role reversal, wherein he depicts scenarios that answers the question “what if people acted like dogs.”

The young Croatian was inspired by his love of the furry animal and even has his own dog, a yellow lab named Thor. “Dogs are great and bring a smile to my face so I made comics about them,” he told Bored Panda. The 23-year-old only began drawing a year and seven months ago but has already been met with some success. “Since I started my comics I got the chance to talk to a lot of cool comic authors. Extra Fabulous Comics, MrLovestein and Perry Bible Fellowship being some of them. I had been reading them for years and talking to them has been surreal,” he said.

For his artistic process, Rosner said he writes out ten ideas and then chooses the one he likes the best, “I learned that failure is the most important part of making better art.” The young cartoonist said at the moment he is looking for a job to pay the bills but isn’t letting go of his true passions, “I hope to one day make a living from making comics and doing stand-up.”

Scroll down below to see some episodes from this hilarious comic series by Hot Paper Comics!

More Info: Instagram | Twitter | Patreon | Website | Facebook | Subreddit

If people acted like dogs, Episode I

Episode II, Postman

Episode III, Academics

Episode IV, Texting

Episode V, Enemies

Episode VI, Social Anxiety

Episode VII, Gift

Episode VIII, Home alone

Special episode

Martin also sent Bored Panda some pics of his adorable lab, Thor

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911 Operator Shares The 14 Craziest Experiences She Had While Working

When something bad happens, emergency line operators are usually the first ones to hear our cries for help. They are there to asses the situation, calm us down, and send help. No one can deny that this job is demanding and stressful.
Imgur user PajamaStripes, who was a 911 operator for two years, decided to share 14 stories to show what her job is really all about. When asked what was the reason she started this job she told Bored Panda “I’ve always had a knack for helping people”. During her job, she learned some easy tricks to help her deal with stress “Stress relief for me was mostly coloring books or snacks. Dry cereal was really popular since it was low-calorie and you could pick at it all night. I knew other people who would play games or watch movies on their laptops or tablets between calls”. Despite all the horrible things PajamaStripes had witnessed, the good things that happened struck her the most “The best motivation was a “good” call. One that went smoothly and ended with everyone okay. The most memorable “good” thing would be a time that I was walking a father through CPR on his son who’d fallen in the pool, and the kid came out of it before we even hit the 2nd round of compressions.” Read her most memorable stories from her job below! (Facebook cover image: travis.af.mil)

#1

I only had about 5 hours of sleep in between 16-hour shifts. Only had an hour left and morning rush hour was ending, so I was ready to get out so bad. Next thing you know the lines are lighting up like a f**king Christmas tree. Luckily nobody was killed, but it sure woke us up!

#2

Got a call from an alarm company one day. Nbd, they’re easy calls. Until I put in the address they gave me and it came up as a firehouse. I let the dispatcher know so she could clear it, but instead she sent out the next station. Turns out the station where the alarm was had left a lasagna in the oven and accidentally turned it to Broil instead of…

Got a call from an alarm company one day. Nbd, they’re easy calls. Until I put in the address they gave me and it came up as a firehouse. I let the dispatcher know so she could clear it, but instead she sent out the next station. Turns out the station where the alarm was had left a lasagna in the oven and accidentally turned it to Broil instead of off in the rush to get out to their call. Everything (except the lasagna) turned out fine, but I’m sure the guy who did it will never live it down.

#3

“I called you 10 minutes ago! WHERE ARE THE COPS?!” Probably playing Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who has to deal with your ass, Brenda. In all seriousness, though. These 50-65 year old, suburban empty-nesters are worse than the ghetto people. At least when the ghetto folks call, there’s usually something actually going on. Boomers will call just because they saw a guy fishing without his license on his hat and…

“I called you 10 minutes ago! WHERE ARE THE COPS?!” Probably playing Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who has to deal with your ass, Brenda. In all seriousness, though. These 50-65 year old, suburban empty-nesters are worse than the ghetto people. At least when the ghetto folks call, there’s usually something actually going on. Boomers will call just because they saw a guy fishing without his license on his hat and then INSIST they stay to speak to the officer when the damn thing was just on the guy’s vest instead. (Happened way more than once.) Then they get all entitled when the officer doesn’t come sirens-blaring right away. Sorry, Carol, I’ll get them to stop writing that ticket for someone that was actually doing something wrong and come deal with your butthurt right away.

#4

Sometimes the boomers have legit complaints, though. This one lady (still obnoxious) called because the kids down the street broke into her yard and stole the goldfish from her pond. Apparently she’d had issues with this family before (shocker). I still have no idea what they did with the fish.

#5

People who call a lot are called Frequent Flyers, and we had quite a few. One of them was nicknamed Chicken Little, because every time it snowed, she would call and tell us that the clouds had fallen out of the sky and we had to put them back up. The officers started telling her that they only fell because they were “extra” clouds and they would go back up on…

People who call a lot are called Frequent Flyers, and we had quite a few. One of them was nicknamed Chicken Little, because every time it snowed, she would call and tell us that the clouds had fallen out of the sky and we had to put them back up. The officers started telling her that they only fell because they were “extra” clouds and they would go back up on their own once the sky cleared. It usually worked and we wouldn’t hear from her as much.

#6

Another frequent flyer. A sweet man we’ll call Charlie. Charlie knew he had issues and knew when he was about to have an episode. He was also, unfortunately, homeless. So whenever he was about to break down, he would find a landline to call us (because it automatically gives us the address and number). We got to know him so well that he even recognized our operator numbers. Sometimes he’d…

Another frequent flyer. A sweet man we’ll call Charlie. Charlie knew he had issues and knew when he was about to have an episode. He was also, unfortunately, homeless. So whenever he was about to break down, he would find a landline to call us (because it automatically gives us the address and number). We got to know him so well that he even recognized our operator numbers. Sometimes he’d just say “I need to go” and we knew it was him.

#7

There was a lady who had constant issues with her husband. One day she called and told us to get there quick, because she was going to shoot him. The thing is, Husband was her dog, and when officers got there (they actually rushed, because cops love dogs) she was standing in the yard holding a plunger under her arm, pretending to cock it like a shotgun and yelling “BOOM!!”…

There was a lady who had constant issues with her husband. One day she called and told us to get there quick, because she was going to shoot him. The thing is, Husband was her dog, and when officers got there (they actually rushed, because cops love dogs) she was standing in the yard holding a plunger under her arm, pretending to cock it like a shotgun and yelling “BOOM!!” at the poor pup. When the officers tried to take it from her, she just started yelling “You can’t stop me!!” and ran around the yard trying to avoid them. Her “Husband” was taken to the Humane Society.

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#8

This lady. We’ll call her Eleanor. She was the QUEEN of the Frequent Flyers. Imagine Uncle Ruckus as a lady. The cops would take rookies out to deal with her just to f**k with them. She’d call almost every day with something new ranging from the relatively simple to the completely absurd. Some of my favorites are: -Black and Arab midgets broke into her apartment and stuck their fingers in her…

This lady. We’ll call her Eleanor. She was the QUEEN of the Frequent Flyers. Imagine Uncle Ruckus as a lady. The cops would take rookies out to deal with her just to f**k with them. She’d call almost every day with something new ranging from the relatively simple to the completely absurd. Some of my favorites are: -Black and Arab midgets broke into her apartment and stuck their fingers in her peanut butter. -A tall Arab man pissed on her chair while she was in the other room and then ran away. -Her upstairs neighbor kept peeing on her through a hole in the ceiling. She lived on the top floor. There wasn’t even a leak. -A demon kept looking through her window. Flew away when she told him to “F**k off.” And finally, – Snakes kept coming up through her floor and wrapping around her legs. Then they turned into hands that tried to violate her. She kept yelling “Get outta my h**chie!!” on the phone.

#9

This was the single funniest call that ever happened. Officers went out for a violent domestic. Suddenly over the radio comes “We’re gonna need backup. He’s beating her with a boa.” Dispatcher: “Repeat? He’s beating her with what?” Officer screams: “A SNAKE!! A BIG. ASS. SNAKE!! Oh HELL no!” This dude was straight up beating his woman with their 5ft long pet snake. The snake was taken to a local rescue and…

This was the single funniest call that ever happened. Officers went out for a violent domestic. Suddenly over the radio comes “We’re gonna need backup. He’s beating her with a boa.” Dispatcher: “Repeat? He’s beating her with what?” Officer screams: “A SNAKE!! A BIG. ASS. SNAKE!! Oh HELL no!” This dude was straight up beating his woman with their 5ft long pet snake. The snake was taken to a local rescue and was okay aside from some bruising. Another officer ended up adopting him.

#10

Elderly callers are just wholesome for the most part. It’s typically either they need some help getting up, they’re lost/confused, or they’re concerned about someone they haven’t seen in a while. Most of my coworkers used to get annoyed because they can be a bit slow and they can have trouble hearing, but I loved them. It was a nice little reprieve from all the awful s**t going on. Especially…

Elderly callers are just wholesome for the most part. It’s typically either they need some help getting up, they’re lost/confused, or they’re concerned about someone they haven’t seen in a while. Most of my coworkers used to get annoyed because they can be a bit slow and they can have trouble hearing, but I loved them. It was a nice little reprieve from all the awful s**t going on. Especially because they were usually easy to help and were always grateful. One guy I will always remember just called because his watch was broken and he wanted to know what time it was. We wouldn’t even open a call for him. Just tell him the time and he’d say “Thank you” and hang up. Eventually, he got a new watch and stopped calling. I honestly really miss him.

#11

Time for some badassery. The only time I ever saw the whole department actually work smoothly together. Our system was getting updated, and when that happens, we have to do everything on paper, since we can’t very well shut down 911. It was early in the morning and a bank robbery call comes in. This thing turned into a full on car chase spanning 8 different municipalities with 4 jurisdictions in…

Time for some badassery. The only time I ever saw the whole department actually work smoothly together. Our system was getting updated, and when that happens, we have to do everything on paper, since we can’t very well shut down 911. It was early in the morning and a bank robbery call comes in. This thing turned into a full on car chase spanning 8 different municipalities with 4 jurisdictions in 3 different zones, AND state police territory. We had supervisors and trainees on the floor running cards back and forth, calltakers writing out copies, 2 dispatchers running the whole county while the rest dealt with the chase. One of the ones on the chase relaying everything to State Police (in another building). It was controlled chaos. After we got him and everything was clear, the wave of relief that came over the room was legendary.

#12

WARNING: THE NEXT THREE STORIES ARE BAD ONES. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE. Starting with the least awful. I once had a caller we’ll call Dan. Dan was nuts and had just gotten out of jail. He called because he was lost and didn’t know how to get back home. I helped him figure it out and sent some officers to make sure he was okay once we found…

WARNING: THE NEXT THREE STORIES ARE BAD ONES. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE. Starting with the least awful. I once had a caller we’ll call Dan. Dan was nuts and had just gotten out of jail. He called because he was lost and didn’t know how to get back home. I helped him figure it out and sent some officers to make sure he was okay once we found out where he was. Then Dan kept calling, specifically requesting my dispatch number, for almost 2 weeks, making sexual comments and asking to see me. After the first few calls, We would send him straight to the supervisor. After a couple days, he was told that he would face charges if he continued. After his number was red listed (he can still call, but its flagged and sent to the supervisor automatically), he got a new number and kept calling. He kept getting more angry and started making threats. I actually had my supervisor walk me to the bus stop and wait with me after that. One day he called and said he was in the wooded area just down the street, waiting for me to get off work. Officers were sent eventually found him close by.

#13

First call that made me have to get up and go sit somewhere quiet. A girl about my age called in and wouldn’t stop crying. She was hyperventilating, bawling. It took me almost 2 minutes to be able to get anything out of her. Her neighbor had shot her dog after it had gotten into his yard through the fence. He did it while she has run into the house to…

First call that made me have to get up and go sit somewhere quiet. A girl about my age called in and wouldn’t stop crying. She was hyperventilating, bawling. It took me almost 2 minutes to be able to get anything out of her. Her neighbor had shot her dog after it had gotten into his yard through the fence. He did it while she has run into the house to get his leash and had told the neighbor she’d be right back. Said neighbor had a long history of violence toward animals and had been arrested before for shooting stray cats and squirrels.

#14

This one is hard to think about. It was a late shift. Some time after midnight, and we got several calls. One from the owner of a house that had just been hit by a Semi, one from the neighbor, and one from the driver who was trapped in the cab. The driver got our best dispatcher. A lady who’d been there for 20-some years. She could handle anything. I was…

This one is hard to think about. It was a late shift. Some time after midnight, and we got several calls. One from the owner of a house that had just been hit by a Semi, one from the neighbor, and one from the driver who was trapped in the cab. The driver got our best dispatcher. A lady who’d been there for 20-some years. She could handle anything. I was connected to her line for a training review. He was trapped in the cab and was more worried about the people in the house than himself. He just kept saying “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Then he just stopped. He starts saying “Oh God. Oh God. I smell diesel. I can smell the diesel. I’m going to die. I’m gonna die here.” She was trying to calm him down, but everytime she switched to mute, she started shouting at the dispatcher to make them hurry. It ignited before they got there, though. I can still hear the sound. Him screaming, you could hear the flames, and then nothing. And the best dispatcher got up, signed off, and walked away. She didn’t come back until her next shift. There was nothing we could’ve done, but we’re the ones who are supposed to be able to do something. That’s the thing that makes jobs like this the hardest. EDIT: The accident report said he struck the gas line when he went through the kitchen. That’s probably what started the fire. I don’t know what ignited it, though.

Read more: http://www.boredpanda.com/

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These 15+ Things Prove That Common Sense Is Not Always Common

Common sense is not so common, Voltaire once wrote. There is always that one person in class who sneezes without covering their mouth. Or the person who takes up two seats on the train just because they like to sit with their legs spread out. As much as we’d like to live in a considerate world, there will always be people who lack common sense or mindfulness in the most common situations.

Here are thirty simple reminders of what to do and not to do when you’re in a public space. If you think of yourself as a decent human being, most of these probably will be a no-brainer for you. And don’t forget to share your worst (or best) experiences with people who lacked common sense in the comments!

#1 Not Using Turning Signals

When did it become normal for people to ignore the most basic rules of driving?

#2 Not Letting People Get Out Of Busses And Elevators Before Entering

It makes a lot more sense than you trying to push yourself into the crowd who’s trying to get out anyway. Just stand aside, let people out, and then get in.

#3 Listening To Music Without Headphones

You think your music taste is great? Perfect, go study music, become a DJ or a producer, but please don’t shove your music taste onto other people who would rather listen to silence then the latest remix of DJ Khaled’s new song while sitting on a bus on their way to home.

#4 Being Rude To Your Server

Imagine working 12 hour shifts, always on your feet, tired as hell, and then dealing with the most annoying and rude customers? Yeah, don’t be that person who thinks waitresses have to deal with your terrible attitude. They’re just here to do their job and leave, don’t make it harder than it is.

#5 Standing On The Left Side And Blocking The Way

This one will definitely make your blood boil. Every country is different, but usually you walk on the left and you stand on the right, it’s that simple.

#6 Not Putting Your Stuff Back On The Proper Shelves In Grocery Stores

Just because you decided you don’t need that item anymore doesn’t mean somebody else should have to put it back to its place. Your ignorance creates extra work for the already busy grocery store employees so put the stuff back from where you took it.

#7 Leaving A Mess After Yourself

No matter if it’s your office, public bathroom or a clothing store, leaving your things all over the place is just rude. You’re not entitled to having people picking up your things after you.

#8 Swiping Right When Someone Hands You Their Phone To Show A Picture

They only wanted to show you one picture, you do not have the right to scroll through their photos and check what they have on their phone. Imagine how awkward it would be if you would stumble on something very private?

#9 Texting While Driving

Just don’t do this one. Don’t. You’re risking yours and someone else’s life for a text, it’s not worth it, and no matter what you’re typing, it will never be as important as being safe at the road.

#10 Putting Your Feet All Over Somebody Else’s Space On Planes And Trains

Feet are already a sensitive topic to many people, nobody enjoys seeing or smelling somebody else’s feet (unless you’re into that stuff). But taking your shoes off and putting your feet near people sitting next to you is just rude and disgusting.

Nobody wants to touch your hands after you used the toilet, and it’s even worse since nobody is ever sure who washed their hands and who didn’t. Be kind to others and stop sharing you bacteria.

#12 Not Cleaning Up After Your Dog

Picking up poop and throwing it away takes way less time than stepping in it and cleaning it up, not to mention getting rid of the smell. So, if you want a dog, understand that it comes with a poop that you’ll have to pick up.

#13 Having A Cart Full Of Groceries In The Express Lane

It might be quicker for you but it ruins the whole point of the ‘express lane’. And don’t act so surprised if the cashier refuses to scan your stuff.

#14 Throwing Something Into A Trash Bin, Missing It, And Not Picking It Up

Struggling with your aim? Then maybe just try walking to the trash bin? Who would have thought that it’s that simple? Groundbreaking.

#15 Not Dimming Your Car’s Front Lights While Driving Past Someone In The Dark

Headlight flashing is a popular way to send another driver a message. But always remember that your lights can be blinding other people and distracting them from the road, so please make sure that your lights are not too bright. The rule is simple, if you can see the driver – you’re too late.

#16 Leaving Carts All Over The Parking Lot

How many times have you needed to park your car, thought you saw a free space, but when you drove closer saw it was occupied by a bunch of grocery store carts? There are special places to leave them, and they are always near the parking lot, please, put them where they are supposed to be.

#17 Parking In Disabled Parking Spots

Oh come on, this one is just plain illegal. There’s always a free parking space somewhere, always, just try harder to find one.

#18 Having Your Stuff All Over The Place In Public Places

Everybody has heard about manspreading, but have you ever heard about ‘Shebaggingâ€, it’s when you put your stuff all over the place, especially in public transportation, blocking the available seat next to you and leaving others standing. If you ever catch yourself doing so, try putting your stuff on your legs and offering the seat to another passenger.

#19 Standing Too Close To Someone

If you’re waiting in a line, please try your best not to breathe into someone else’s neck. This accidental intimacy is uncalled for and always unwanted. Try to be mindful, there’s a reason the term “safe space†exists.

#20 Snapping Fingers At A Server

Just don’t. It’s rude, obnoxious and degrading.

Don’t be a demon, when you finish a toilet paper roll replace it with a new one. Imagine a situation were you just finished doing your business and there’s no toilet paper, sucks, right? Well, don’t put somebody else in this tragic situation.

#22 Not Covering Your Mouth While Coughing

According to Live Science, one cough can release as much as 3,000 droplets of saliva, and they can fly as fast as 50 miles per hour. And sneezing can force as much as 40,000 droplets of saliva. Is there anything else we need to say to prove our point? Covering your mouth is not an option but an absolute must.

#23 Manspreading

This one is rather simple – close. your. legs.

#24 Checking Your Phone In The Middle Of A Conversation

Unless it’s actually urgent, please do not check your phone in the middle of a conversation with someone. It seems like you’re bored, and you make other people feel uncomfortable. Also, it’s one thing to quickly check the time and another when you just keep scrolling.

#25 Using Words Like ‘Gay’, ‘Retarded’ And ‘Autistic’ As An Insult

Saying ‘it’s so gay’ is sooo last year. And even if you think it’s only a joke, and it’s not offending anyone, it still has a bad connotation to it.

#26 Not Keeping A Safe Distance From Other Cars On The Road

It’s a well-known fact that driving too close to someone is not safe, and no matter what you’re trying to prove, it’s in poor taste to harass somebody by driving as close as of couple of meters from their car. A safe distance between two vehicles is at least 2 seconds behind.

#27 Not Leaving Someone’s House When They Say They Are Tired And Have To Get To Work Early In The Morning

It takes a lot of energy to invite people over and plan the entire evening. So when people are starting to leave, you should understand that the lovely evening is coming to an end. And if you hear someone say ‘I’m really tired’ or ‘I have to go to work early in the morning’, it’s also a sign that you should call a taxi and head…

It takes a lot of energy to invite people over and plan the entire evening. So when people are starting to leave, you should understand that the lovely evening is coming to an end. And if you hear someone say ‘I’m really tired’ or ‘I have to go to work early in the morning’, it’s also a sign that you should call a taxi and head home.

#28 Eating With Your Mouth Open

We try not to be too snobby here, but seeing someone chew with their mouth open is something others might not enjoy witnessing. We get it, it’s hard to control yourself sometimes, but just try to be as self- aware as possible. Also, if somebody is eating with their mouth open, here’s how you can politely tell them to stop.

#29 Blocking Pedestrian Crossings With Your Car

If you’re in a car, you’re not a pedestrian, so anything that is strictly dedicated to pedestrians is something you shouldn’t be driving on, especially sidewalks and pedestrian crossings. Is this so hard to understand??

#30 Rambling On And On To A Person Who Is Obviously Busy

Your assignment is due tomorrow, you’re already doing five things at once, and your boss keeps messaging you asking to do something that’s not even your responsibility. And then Karen walks in, asks how your day’s going, and then talks about her weekend, and then she shares a story about how her dog seems to have diarrhea. She keeps talking and talking, and no matter how…

Your assignment is due tomorrow, you’re already doing five things at once, and your boss keeps messaging you asking to do something that’s not even your responsibility. And then Karen walks in, asks how your day’s going, and then talks about her weekend, and then she shares a story about how her dog seems to have diarrhea. She keeps talking and talking, and no matter how many times you say ‘I should really get back to work’, she seems to not understand it. Annoying, right? Yeah, thought so.

We get it, you’re busy, you didn’t have time to eat and you’re just too hungry to wait until you get back home and fill your tummy. But please, be considerate of others and avoid eating stinky food like tuna sandwiches in public, especially buses or trains, where nobody can escape the smell.

#32 Not Taking Care Of Your Personal Hygiene

Personal hygiene isn’t something people should need to be reminded about. Don’t forget to think about others when thinking about skipping a shower or two.

#33 Talking Loudly In Public Areas

Yes, it’s cool you have friends to talk to, and it’s even cooler that the topic is so riveting that now you’re all hyped up. But please, make sure your voice isn’t louder than your surroundings, not everybody wants to hear what happened to you last night.

#34 Sitting Close To Someone On An Empty Bus

This one is just creepy. Why would you choose to invade someone else’s private space when there are plenty of free seats on the bus?

#35 Talking To Someone With Headphones On

If you see a person with their headphones on, it usually means ‘I am not in the mood to talk’, especially if it’s a stranger. It’s one thing to ask them a question, but to continue disturbing them is something that will make them hate you. Just let them listen to their music.

#36 Talking On Your Phone When You’re First In The Line

If you’re in line to order a drink or anything else, please be aware that nobody wants to wait for you to finish your conversation to order. Just known what you want, say it and don’t make the barista wait for you to tell your mom what you ate yesterday.

#37 Reading Over Someone Else’s Shoulder

Ok, this one is a bit more subtle. Many of us check what people next to us are reading on the bus, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, if you’re being discrete. But obnoxiously reading someone’s private texts over their shoulder is a big social no no. Oh, and remember you can always feel if somebody is creeping on you behind your back.

#38 Petting And/Or Feeding Stranger Dogs

Always always ask the owner if you can pet or feed their pet. You never know if the pet is friendly and feeding them can even cause an allergic reaction.

And remember, the owner knows best, so if he says ‘no’ do not try petting their animal behind their back.

#39 Using Both Armrests

Long train ride? Flight? Want to rest? Well, why not try thinking about your neighbor and leaving one armrest for him? Afterall, sharing is caring.

And according to a manner coach Adeodata Czink, “if you’re sitting in a window or aisle seat, the middle seat passenger gets to put his arms down first. If there’s room left over, great….

Long train ride? Flight? Want to rest? Well, why not try thinking about your neighbor and leaving one armrest for him? Afterall, sharing is caring.

And according to a manner coach Adeodata Czink, “if you’re sitting in a window or aisle seat, the middle seat passenger gets to put his arms down first. If there’s room left over, great. If not, it belongs to the middle seat passenger. And one more thing, try to be nice about it.â€

#40 Walking Too Slowly On A Busy Street

If it’s a busy area where people are in a hurry to get to school or work, please don’t be the person who just walks like they’re in a park and disturbs everyone from getting to their destinations on time.

When it comes to bars, there is an entire section of unwritten rules people usually follow to avoid uncomfortable situations or piss off other patrons, and one of them is to wait patiently for your turn to order. According to Good Cocktails, “When the bartender is busy, don’t try to cut in by yelling, “I just want a water!” Why should the bartender stop serving the paying customers in order…

When it comes to bars, there is an entire section of unwritten rules people usually follow to avoid uncomfortable situations or piss off other patrons, and one of them is to wait patiently for your turn to order. According to Good Cocktails, “When the bartender is busy, don’t try to cut in by yelling, “I just want a water!” Why should the bartender stop serving the paying customers in order to serve a person that only wants a free glass of water.†But when you about it, why should the bartender stop serving a customer just to take your order even if you’re paying?

#42 Pretending To Not See An Old Or Pregnant Person

We get it, it happens, you’re tired, you kinda don’t see the pregnant lady standing next to you but you really do, and in your head, you know damn well you should get your butt off the seat and offer it to someone who is literally carrying another human being inside of her.

#43 Peeing Close To Someone In The Urinal

Nobody wants to pee standing close to someone else. If you’re not sure you know all of the unwritten rules about peeing in the urinals, make sure you take this test.

Read more: http://www.boredpanda.com/

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27 Unbelievable Facts About Antarctica That Are 100% True

There is so much that we don’t know yet about our planet, Earth. This is especially true when it comes to places which are remote, hard to reach and where the climate is harsh and uninviting. That makes Antarctica one of the most mysterious places on Earth – it’s an icy, remote, desolate desert with many secrets that are yet to be unraveled. The continent is so large that it may seem that scientists are just beginning to explore its vast territories and hidden treasures.

One internet user has compiled a list of the most interesting facts about Antarctica.  Scroll down below to read the full list of amazing, fascinating and even unsettling data that is known today about the world’s harshest desert.

Source:

#1 An American Scientist Was The First And Only Person To Find A Match On Tinder In Antarctica

One cold and lonely December night, an American scientist, who was conducting research on Antarctica, decided to log on to Tinder just for fun. He wanted to see if there were any women out on the icy, lonely continent. At first, no profiles showed up, but after the scientist expanded the app’s location radius, he actually found someone: another researcher, just a 45-minute helicopter ride away. He swiped right and…

One cold and lonely December night, an American scientist, who was conducting research on Antarctica, decided to log on to Tinder just for fun. He wanted to see if there were any women out on the icy, lonely continent. At first, no profiles showed up, but after the scientist expanded the app’s location radius, he actually found someone: another researcher, just a 45-minute helicopter ride away. He swiped right and a few minutes later they matched, making it the first Tinder match on Antarctica.

#2 There Are Places In Antarctica Which Haven’t Received Rain Or Snow In 2 Million Years

In Antarctica around 1% of the continent (4,000 km or 2,500 mi) is permanently ice-free – such areas are called dry valleys or Antarctic oasis. They are thought to be the world’s harshest deserts and it is estimated that these areas haven’t seen rain or snow in almost 2 million years. According to one study led by Australian scientists, due to climate change ice-free areas in Antarctica could expand up to…

In Antarctica around 1% of the continent (4,000 km or 2,500 mi) is permanently ice-free – such areas are called dry valleys or Antarctic oasis. They are thought to be the world’s harshest deserts and it is estimated that these areas haven’t seen rain or snow in almost 2 million years. According to one study led by Australian scientists, due to climate change ice-free areas in Antarctica could expand up to 25% by the end of 21st century. This could drastically change the biodiversity of the continent.

#3 There Is A Waterfall In Antarctica Which Is Called Blood Falls

Don’t worry – no real blood is running there. 5 million years ago, as sea levels rose, East Antarctica was flooded and a brine lake was formed there. After millions of years, glaciers formed on top of the lake. As they froze, the water below became even saltier. Today, the subglacial lake under Blood Falls is three times saltier than seawater and, therefore, is too salty to freeze. The water beneath…

Don’t worry – no real blood is running there. 5 million years ago, as sea levels rose, East Antarctica was flooded and a brine lake was formed there. After millions of years, glaciers formed on top of the lake. As they froze, the water below became even saltier. Today, the subglacial lake under Blood Falls is three times saltier than seawater and, therefore, is too salty to freeze. The water beneath Taylor Glacier, which feeds the Blood Fall, contains a lot of iron (picked up from the underlying bedrock) and when iron-rich water comes in contact with air, the iron oxidizes and takes on a red coloring, leaving blood-like stains on the ice.

#4 More Meteorites Are Found In Antarctica Than Anywhere Else In The World

According to scientists, meteorites land everywhere with almost equal probability. However, if they fell in a humid jungle climate, moisture and oxygen would corrode them. In Antarctica, where the climate is extremely dry, the likelihood of corrosion is almost non-existent. In addition to this, naturally, the rocks are easier to spot on the white, icy surface of Antarctica. Lastly, sometimes the East Antarctic ice sheet’s path to the sea is…

According to scientists, meteorites land everywhere with almost equal probability. However, if they fell in a humid jungle climate, moisture and oxygen would corrode them. In Antarctica, where the climate is extremely dry, the likelihood of corrosion is almost non-existent. In addition to this, naturally, the rocks are easier to spot on the white, icy surface of Antarctica. Lastly, sometimes the East Antarctic ice sheet’s path to the sea is clogged by mountains or other obstructions. If the sheet stays in one spot for a long time, strong winds and sunlight can evaporate the top layers and reveal much older ice and large meteorite concentrations within it. This way, more than 20,000 samples of rock from unknown sources were collected since 1976.

#5 70% Percent Of World’s Fresh Water Is In Antarctica

Around 90% of the world’s ice and 70% of the fresh water is in Antarctica. If all of the Antarctic ice melted, sea levels in the world would rise about 200 feet (61 meters).

#6 Antarctica Has No Official Time Zone

As Antarctica is mostly uninhabited, the continent is not officially divided into time zones. However, a number of existing research stations use either the time zone of the country that operates or supplies them, or use the local time of countries located nearby. For example, McMurdo Station observes New Zealand Standard Time (NZST) during standard time and New Zealand Daylight Time (NZDT) during the Daylight Saving Time (DST) period in…

As Antarctica is mostly uninhabited, the continent is not officially divided into time zones. However, a number of existing research stations use either the time zone of the country that operates or supplies them, or use the local time of countries located nearby. For example, McMurdo Station observes New Zealand Standard Time (NZST) during standard time and New Zealand Daylight Time (NZDT) during the Daylight Saving Time (DST) period in New Zealand. Palmer Station (an American research station) keeps Chile Summer Time (CLST) as Chile is the closest country to their station.

#7 The Average Ice Sheet Thickness In Antarctica Is 1 Mile

Antarctica, the southernmost continent, is almost completely covered in a thick layer of ice (except for dry valleys, which make up around 1% of the area). The thickness of the ice sheet varies depending on the location, with the East Antarctic sheet being much thicker than the one in the West. On average, the ice is more than one mile (1.6 km) thick, but in some sections it can get…

Antarctica, the southernmost continent, is almost completely covered in a thick layer of ice (except for dry valleys, which make up around 1% of the area). The thickness of the ice sheet varies depending on the location, with the East Antarctic sheet being much thicker than the one in the West. On average, the ice is more than one mile (1.6 km) thick, but in some sections it can get as thick as almost three miles (4.8 km).

#8 The Largest Recorded Iceberg Was Bigger Than The Whole Island Of Jamaica

The world’s largest recorded iceberg, was Iceberg B-15, which measured around 183 miles (295 km) long and 23 miles (37 km) wide, with a surface area of 4,200 square miles (11,000 sq km) – making it larger than the whole island of Jamaica. In 2000, the Iceberg B-15 broke up into smaller icebergs and later drifted away into the sea.

#9 Emilio Marcos Palma Was The First Person To Be Born In Antarctica

In 1978 Emilio Marcos Palma made history by being the first person to be born on Antarctica. His father was the head of the Argentine Army detachment at the Esperanza Research Base. Since then, ten more people have been born on the continent, but Palma’s birthplace still remains the southernmost and has featured in the Guinness Book of Records.

#10 The World’s Oldest Sperm Was Found In Antarctica

Back in 2015, scientists from Sweden found a 50 million-year-old fossilized clitellate worm cocoon in Antarctica, which contained the world’s oldest sperm. The sperm of this worm is very short-lived and extremely hard to find, however because it became trapped in the jelly-like cocoon before it hardened, it was preserved for millions of years.

Back in 1911, sled dogs hauled supplies for Norwegian explorers led by Roald Amundsen. It was the first expedition to reach the South Pole. Afterwards, sled dogs were kept and used in Antarctica for years. However, they were banned from the continent in 1993 due to fear that they might transmit canine distemper to the Antarctic seals or would escape and disturb the local wildlife.

#12 There Are Two Civilian Towns In Antarctica

The larger town out of two that exist in Antarctica, is Villa Las Estrellas (The Stars Town), founded in 1984 by Pinochet, who wanted to reaffirm Chile’s presence in the region. Today, this town is a research station and has a school, hospital, hostel, post office, internet and even TV and mobile phone coverage. The other town is called Esperanza Base and serves as an Argentine research station. It houses 55…

The larger town out of two that exist in Antarctica, is Villa Las Estrellas (The Stars Town), founded in 1984 by Pinochet, who wanted to reaffirm Chile’s presence in the region. Today, this town is a research station and has a school, hospital, hostel, post office, internet and even TV and mobile phone coverage. The other town is called Esperanza Base and serves as an Argentine research station. It houses 55 inhabitants in winter, including 10 families and 2 school teachers. The town was established in 1953. It became widely-known in 1978 due to the birth of Emilio Marcos Palma, the first person to be born in Antarctica.

#13 More Than 300 Large Lakes Exist Underneath The Ice Sheet

As of today, more than 300 large bodies of water have been identified under the continent of Antarctica. They do not freeze because of geothermal heat and pressure or simply put – the warmth of Earth’s core. The lakes are a part of vast hydro-logical network under the thick ice sheet. It is known that some of the lakes are interconnected and exchange water. But some are thought to be…

As of today, more than 300 large bodies of water have been identified under the continent of Antarctica. They do not freeze because of geothermal heat and pressure or simply put – the warmth of Earth’s core. The lakes are a part of vast hydro-logical network under the thick ice sheet. It is known that some of the lakes are interconnected and exchange water. But some are thought to be completely isolated, which means that the water had to be in one place for thousands of years. Scientists believe that these isolated lakes might be home to microorganisms that are yet to be discovered by the modern science.

#14 Antarctica Was Once A Tropical Continent And It Can Become One Again Due To CO2 Emissions

It is hard to believe, but once Antarctica was a green, tropical paradise with furry mammals like possums and beavers. Scientists say that it is only in the quite recent geological past it got so cold there. Around 52 million years ago, the concentration of carbon dioxide (CO2 or the greenhouse gas) was more than twice as high compared to today and the climate was much hotter. However, according to scientists,…

It is hard to believe, but once Antarctica was a green, tropical paradise with furry mammals like possums and beavers. Scientists say that it is only in the quite recent geological past it got so cold there. Around 52 million years ago, the concentration of carbon dioxide (CO2 or the greenhouse gas) was more than twice as high compared to today and the climate was much hotter. However, according to scientists, if the current CO2 emissions continue to rise due to burning of fossil fuels, the amount of greenhouse gas in the atmosphere that existed millions of years ago is likely to be achieved within a few hundred years.

#15 Earth’s Gravitational Pull Is Shifting Because Of Climate Change

Today the effects of climate change are so grave, that gravity itself is changing. According to the European Space Agency (ESA), in only three years, Antarctica has lost so much ice that it caused a shift in the Earth’s gravitational pull. As it was found during one study, the loss of ice from West Antarctica between 2009 and 2012 has actually caused a dip in the gravity field over the…

Today the effects of climate change are so grave, that gravity itself is changing. According to the European Space Agency (ESA), in only three years, Antarctica has lost so much ice that it caused a shift in the Earth’s gravitational pull. As it was found during one study, the loss of ice from West Antarctica between 2009 and 2012 has actually caused a dip in the gravity field over the region.

#16 The Lowest Surface Temperature On Earth Ever Recorded Is -144 °F (-98 °C)

Back in 2013 it was thought that the coldest surface temperature on Earth, recorded in Antarctica, was -135°F (-93°C). However this year the study has been revised and scientists announced that on the coldest site on Earth, temperatures can drop even lower, to -144 °F (-98 °C). They were observed during polar night, in wintertime. This record of -144 °F (-98 °C ) is about as cold as it is possible…

Back in 2013 it was thought that the coldest surface temperature on Earth, recorded in Antarctica, was -135°F (-93°C). However this year the study has been revised and scientists announced that on the coldest site on Earth, temperatures can drop even lower, to -144 °F (-98 °C). They were observed during polar night, in wintertime. This record of -144 °F (-98 °C ) is about as cold as it is possible to get at Earth’s surface, according to the scientists. The conditions under which such low temperature can occur, are dry air and a clear sky, persisting for several days. If they persisted longer, the temperature could drop even lower, but researchers don’t think that it is likely to happen.

#17 Mount Erebus Is One Of The Few Consistently Active Volcanoes On Earth

Mount Erebus is one of the few consistently active volcanoes and the southernmost active volcano on Earth. It contains a 1,700 °F (about 927 °C) lava lake, that is thought to be miles deep. Mount Erebus is always alive and bubbling, releasing gas and spitting out chunks of molten rock and feldspar crystals, rich in potassium, sodium and aluminum silicate.

#18 Antarctica, The Arctic And Some Other Remote Islands Are The Only Places In The World Not Colonized By Ants

Just about every piece of land on Earth harbors at least one native or invasive ant species. However, Antarctica, the Arctic and a handful of remote or inhospitable islands are the only places on Earth which are not colonized by ants.

#19 Antarctica Is 1.5 The Size Of US

The surface area of the Antarctica is around 5,400,000 sq mi (14,000,000 sq km). In the winter, Antarctica doubles in size because of the ice building up around the coast of it. The continent is twice the size of Australia, 1.5 times the size of the United States and 50 times the size of United Kingdom.

#20 Antarctica Has One ATM

The banking conglomerate Wells Fargo installed an ATM back in 1998 at McMurdo Station, the largest science hub on the continent. While it is near New Zealand territory, the ATM only dispenses US dollars.

However, there is an abundance of other forms of wildlife, such as whales, seals, penguins and other birds. Penguins are the most common birds in the Antarctic. They live in colonies and survive in the harshest conditions. Out of the seventeen existing different species of penguins, two of them are permanent residents on Antarctica – the emperor and Adélie penguins. Others, like the macaroni, gentoo and chinstrap, breed on the…

However, there is an abundance of other forms of wildlife, such as whales, seals, penguins and other birds. Penguins are the most common birds in the Antarctic. They live in colonies and survive in the harshest conditions. Out of the seventeen existing different species of penguins, two of them are permanent residents on Antarctica – the emperor and Adélie penguins. Others, like the macaroni, gentoo and chinstrap, breed on the northern tip of the Antarctic Peninsula, where the conditions are not that harsh. King penguins only breed on the warmer northern islands.

#22 The Highest Temperature Ever Recorded On Antarctica Was 63.5 °F (17.5 °C)

The highest temperature ever recorded on the Antarctic continent, was 63.5 °F (17.5 °C). The discovery was made in 2015 at the Argentine Research Base Esperanza, near the northern tip of the Antarctic Peninsula. An even higher temperature of 67.6 °F (19.8 °C) was recorded on Signy island, located on the South Orkney Islands of Antarctica, back in 1982.

#23 Due To Climate Change, Antarctica Has Lost 3 Trillion Tons Of Ice In Just 25 Years

In the past 25 years Antarctica has lost more than 3 trillion tons of ice. Sadly, the ice loss process has accelerated dramatically over the last five years. While analyzing data from multiple satellite surveys from 1992 to 2017, a group of 84 international researchers has found that Antarctica is currently losing ice about three times faster than it did before 2012. Now it is predicted that more than 241…

In the past 25 years Antarctica has lost more than 3 trillion tons of ice. Sadly, the ice loss process has accelerated dramatically over the last five years. While analyzing data from multiple satellite surveys from 1992 to 2017, a group of 84 international researchers has found that Antarctica is currently losing ice about three times faster than it did before 2012. Now it is predicted that more than 241 billion tons of ice are lost each year.

#24 Antarctica Is The Coldest, Windiest And Driest Continent

Despite all its ice, Antarctica is technically a desert, because of the low precipitation levels. The inner regions receive an average of 2 inches (50 millimeters) precipitation (in the form of snow) each year. To compare, the Sahara desert receives twice as much rain each year. The coasts of Antarctica receive more falling moisture, but unlike in other deserts, it doesn’t soak into the ground.

#25 Winds Can Reach The Speed Of 200 Miles Per Hour

Antarctica is one of the windiest places on Earth and is home to unusual katabatic and downslope winds. The strong winds are influenced by cold temperatures and the shape of the continent. The highest recorded wind speed was at a French base back in 1972 – it was blowing at 200 miles per hour (320 km/h). And even though it doesn’t snow there that often, (contrary to what most of…

Antarctica is one of the windiest places on Earth and is home to unusual katabatic and downslope winds. The strong winds are influenced by cold temperatures and the shape of the continent. The highest recorded wind speed was at a French base back in 1972 – it was blowing at 200 miles per hour (320 km/h). And even though it doesn’t snow there that often, (contrary to what most of us would think), due to strong winds, the snow is picked up from the ground and moved around, which might look like it’s snowing.

#26 There Are No Polar Bears In Antarctica, Only In The Arctic

The Brown bear of North America and Eurasia is the ancestor of the Polar bear. Naturally, Polar bears now live in countries that surround the Arctic Circle: US (Alaska), Norway, Russia, Canada and Greenland. Contrary to the popular belief, Polar bears do not live in Antarctica, but only in the Arctic, as there was no way they could reach the south pole. Bears could not handle the tropical temperatures on…

The Brown bear of North America and Eurasia is the ancestor of the Polar bear. Naturally, Polar bears now live in countries that surround the Arctic Circle: US (Alaska), Norway, Russia, Canada and Greenland. Contrary to the popular belief, Polar bears do not live in Antarctica, but only in the Arctic, as there was no way they could reach the south pole. Bears could not handle the tropical temperatures on the way down there, and there is no mean of getting there by land anyway.

#27 There Are Seven Christian Churches In Antarctica

Even in one of the harshest climates in the world, people still find time to build places of worship, which are all Christian. Today, there are at least seven Christian churches on the icy continent – Chapel of the Snows, Trinity Chapel, The Ice Cave Catholic Chapel, San Francisco de Asis Chapel, St. Ivan Rilski Chapel, Chilian Chapel of Santa Maria Reina de la Paz and the Catholic Chapel of…

Even in one of the harshest climates in the world, people still find time to build places of worship, which are all Christian. Today, there are at least seven Christian churches on the icy continent – Chapel of the Snows, Trinity Chapel, The Ice Cave Catholic Chapel, San Francisco de Asis Chapel, St. Ivan Rilski Chapel, Chilian Chapel of Santa Maria Reina de la Paz and the Catholic Chapel of Santisima Virgen de Lujan.

Read more: http://www.boredpanda.com/

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20+ Of The Cutest Puppies Ever

No matter what kind of day you’re having, puppies are always guaranteed to coax out an involuntary ‘awwww.’ Since not all of us have cool offices that let us bring dogs to work, Bored Panda has supplied you with a list of irresistible furry photos to scroll through.

Whether they are just looking up at you with those big round eyes, sleeping or just giving one of their signature head tilts, these stuffed animal look-alikes are all you need to get through a long morning or mid-day slump. And if you are feeling particularly generous share the joy with your other co-workers and friends. Don’t forget to upvote your favs!

#1 Cutest Beach Bum

#2 Nervous Cadet Reporting For Duty

#3 First Day At Work

#4 Goodboi Wears His Heart On His Head

#5 Brought A Little Gift

#6 11/10

#7 Saw This Puppy On My Campus… I Had No Coherent Words

#8 Nom

#9 I Don’t Know What You Are But I Will Have You

#10 When You’re Shy, But You Also Have A Crush On Someone

#12 This Girl Is The Master Of Head Tilts

#13 All Tuckered Out From Digging

#14 My Sister’s Husky Ran Out Of Ink While Giving Birth

#15 Got A Puppy For The First Time

#16 I Took The New Pup To The Nursing Home Next Door. They Instantly Became Best Friends

#17 He Still Needs Time To Grow Into His Ears

#18 I Am Groot

#19 This Puppy With Pigtails

#20 The Power Of The Puppy Dog Eyes

#22 I Wuv You

#23 Look How Adorable He Is

#24 Good Graduated Boi

#25 We Just Adopted This Sweet Girl, Her Name Is Arya

#26 S A F E T Y B O Y E

#27 My Attempt At A Banana For Scale Picture Of My Mini Dachshund Rusty. It Seems Like He Had Other Plans

#28 Lilo The Corgi Puppy Has One Cute And Mischievous Little Smile

#29 Yes, Dog, You Can Have Whatever You Want

#30 Those Ears Though

#32 12 Week Old Saint Bernard Puppy At Petsmart

#33 Hi Nice To Meet You

#34 Those Legs Are So Tiny

#35 Cutest Photobomb Ever

#36 This Is The Definition Of Puppy Dog Eyes

#37 This Little Guy Doesn’t Have A Name Yet But I Am Obsessed He Is A Pomeranian/Chihuahua

#38 My Old Dog Dexter Could Fall Asleep Anywhere. Here’s Him At About 8 Weeks Old. He Toppled Over And Fell Asleep In The Cup Holders

#39 It’s Tiring Being So Cute

#40 Slow-Motion Malamute Pup

#42 Those Eyes!

#43 Future Dog Tinder Superstar

#44 I Got My Very First Puppy! Meet Annie

#45 Mom And Daughter

#46 This Litter Of Puppies Is Being Raised By A Vet Nurse Friend After Their Mom Passed Away. She Is Greeted By The Crew Every Morning Like This

#47 My Dog Likes To Hug My Arm As I Pet Him

#48 Smol Awooooooo

#49 Waiting To Surprise My SO With This Little Nugget When She Gets Home From Work

#50 Don’t Worry Morty, The Vet Says Your Ear Will Pop Up Soon

#52 Mail Delivery

#53 Pupper In A Cupper

#54 Mommie Am I Cute

#55 How Cute Is This Akita Puppy

#56 Patiently Waiting

#57 My Dauschund Puppy Got Stuck In The Couch Cushions

#58 Loves Getting His Haircut

#59 He Just Wants To Fit Too!

#60 These Brothers Kicking Parvo Right In The *** Are The Strongest Puppies You’ll See Today

#62 The Only Thing Bigger Than Winston’s Puppy Eyes Are His Ears

#63 Kiba

#64 Pupper Subtly Hints That He’s Hungry

#65 This Is Mr. Poppins. He Has Not Teeth

#66 Happy Little Pupper

Read more: http://www.boredpanda.com/

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Dog Meets Her Twin On The Way To The Market, Convinces Its Owners To Adopt Him Immediately

Admit it, if you saw a person who looked exactly like you, you’d at least walk up to them to say ‘hi.’ So when Bethany Coleman took her dog, Rogue, for a walk and they noticed a pup that looked identical to the one she had on a leash, naturally, they introduced themselves.

“Rogue and I were out for a nice long walk to our local farmers market when we saw Beast,” Coleman told Bored Panda. “He was there with Last Hope K9 Rescue and a bunch of other dogs that were all up for adoption. What made me want to rescue Beast over the other dogs was that he looked just like Rogue. They’re both cairn terrier mixes, Rogue’s mom was a lab/pit mix and her dad a cairn and with Beast we’re just not sure, it just has cairn mix I. His paperwork but we think he’s mixed with Basset due to his body type, he looks like a pig and has even been mistaken for a pig a couple times.”

At the time, Bethany wasn’t really thinking about getting another pet. “Tyson, my boyfriend aka the dad, really wanted another dog but I was so against the idea. We already had 2 senior cats that I brought into the relationship and our puppy Rogue. I was not about to add one more animal to the mix, who in the right mind would ever let us rent an apartment from them.”

But she couldn’t help it. “I just instantly fell in love with him!” she added. “He was Rogue’s twin! They also got along and immediately started playing with one another. So right then and there I started filling out the paperwork. I even have the first picture ever of him when he was at the market.”

After they took Beast home, the big boy started to assert dominance but was instantly put in his place by the tiny pup. “It took about a month for everyone, including the cats, to find their groove,” Bethany said. “To be fair we got them the same exact toys thinking that would solve everything. Nope! Rogue always and actually to this day wants whatever Beast has. It’s funny to watch when we give them treats. Halfway through whatever it is they’ll switch and go for each other’s toy. But at heart, they’re best friends!”

Now living in Hawaii, the family couldn’t be happier. Playing in the sand and waves, Beast is the perfect beach dog. Rogue loves annoying the crabs but if she will runs into the ocean, she swims and swims. “We’re gonna also get her a life jacket but teach her how to surf on a boogie board.”

Rogue was adopted from the Animal Rescue League of Boston and Beast from Last Hope K9 Rescue.

At the time, Bethany wasn’t really thinking about getting another pet but things took an unexpected turn

“Rogue and I were out for a nice long walk to our local farmers market when we saw Beast”

“He was there with Last Hope K9 Rescue and a bunch of other dogs that were all up for adoption”

“What made me want to rescue Beast over the other dogs was that he looked just like Rogue. They’re both cairn terrier mixes”

“I just instantly fell in love with him!”

“He was Rogue’s twin! They also got along and immediately started playing with one another”

“So right then and there I started filling out the paperwork”

“Tyson, my boyfriend aka the dad, really wanted another dog but I was so against the idea”

“We already had 2 senior cats that I brought into the relationship and our puppy Rogue”

“It took about a month for everyone, including the cats, to find their groove”

“To be fair we got them the same exact toys thinking that would solve everything”

“Nope! Rogue always and actually to this day wants whatever Beast has”

“But at heart, they’re best friends!”

People think the two are destined to be together

Read more: http://www.boredpanda.com/

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